Tender mercies

 

I've basically been motherless since I was five. Our family exploded at that time, and the story doesn't matter for the intent of this post. From the time I was five, I lived with my dad and my brother. I remember at first not missing my mother, but as time went on, I do remember shedding many bitter tears as a very young 6 and 7 year old. And all my life, there was a missing of a presence that should have been there. 

I am grateful to an aunt and a Granny who stood in and did the best they could for me when they could. I loved them so dearly. When I went to college, I sought my mother out, and we briefly reconnected before she left this earth way too early at the age of 47. I was 19. It was too early for me too. My younger half brother was 11. It was definitely way too early for him too.

I will not be sharing details in this post, because the details are for times when I am moved upon to do so. The point of this post, is the tender mercies (Psalms 145:9) of our Heavenly Father, in regard to me and the love from and for my mother.

The year following my mother's death, was probably the most difficult of my life. The next year my grandfather died. It was a very rough time. Shortly after my grandfather's death, I became engaged and was married in March of the following year. Because I chose to be married in the temple, none of my family could attend. The month before my marriage, I took my mother's name to the temple for those blessings for her. And on my wedding day, I can honestly say my prayers were answered, and I did feel my mother's presence on that special day.

There have been times when I have had heart picture moments, when I am present enough to pull myself back, and really see and enjoy the life I am living/have lived, that I wished she was around to share it. Those are the moments I usually wonder if she is near by.

I have been blessed 3 times in the last 3 years, to have a spiritual reminder that she does care about me and mine and my life. The most recent was only last week. Answered prayers are so wonderful. But prayers that are answered that never left our lips, are a treasure indeed. The Lord sees our need in advance so often, and chooses to bless us, even when it has not occurred to us to ask. I call those tender mercies for sure. And I am so thankful for them.

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