Lessons from Abigail

IAT = I am thankful

I am thankful I was born.
I am thankful Walt Disney was born.
I'm thankful for well wishers on my birthday.
I'm thankful for my silly children.
I'm thankful to celebrate my birthday during the Christmas season.

I started this post over a month ago.

Today is my birthday and I "got" to speak in church today. Yay. Not. Well, I really don't mind speaking. I like the preparation. I just always hope it will be beneficial to someone besides me. So, we were given (as a family) the topic of the atonement. Olivia read 2 scriptures. Noah focused on the definition of the atonement, Emily talked about how broken things are mended by the atonement. I spoke on how the atonement applies in our relationship with God, Christ, and others. And Bret talked about how the atonement covers more than sin. How we are always "unprofitable" servants, and how we could do nothing without the atonement. You can find my talk over on the talk page. It is a bit similar to the talk I gave in January in the Thatcher ward.

But the crux of the last half of my talk was found in 1 Samuel 25. Here are things I have learned from Abigail (and others in the story). She's a type of Christ. If you don't know what a type is, you can read about that here. I love that this type is a woman.

The players names are David, which means beloved.
Nabal, which means fool.
and Abigail, which means Father of rejoicing. It might also mean Creator of rejoicing.

We learn that Nabal was very wealthy and lived in Carmel. He had thousands of sheep and goats in the wilderness. He had great possessions and it was sheep shearing time. He is described as churlish and evil. Abigail, on the other hand was a woman of good understanding, and a beautiful countenance.

David had been in the Judean wilderness with 600 soldiers hiding out from King Saul. Instead of taking advantage of and plundering Nabal's flocks, he had taken care of them and made sure none were missing. He likely befriended the shepherds as well. But David was low in supplies for his men.

He sends 10 young men to bless Nabal and his house, and ask for help in return for the protection of his flocks. Nabal, THE FOOL, basically questions David as to who he is and his importance and tells his "young men" to go take a flying leap. Oops.

David is so angry that he tells 2/3 of his army to mount up because as my dad likes to say, "hell's coming to breakfast." But the scriptures say that David intended to kill any in the household of Nabal, "any that pisseth against the wall."

If you read closely, 9 of the soldiers returned. One went immediately to Abigail and raised the alarm with her. He must have known what David's response would be. And what is Abigail's response? Does she pack up her handmaids and head for the hills? Does she hide in the basement? Does she alert Nabal? No, no, and no.

Her response is amazing. You read it. She must have realized with full force what her husband's foolish actions would bring. This Proverbs 31 woman knew that perhaps her entire household would be destroyed. Perhaps it was a move of preservation? But I believe it was much more. She has many supplies prepared and sends them immediately to David. And then she nearly immediately heads out herself to meet David. And then if you read closely, one of the most amazing stories of all time is told. At least that is how it has impacted me. (As a side note, I find it funny that only 2 bottles of wine were sent for 600 men. Maybe they were specifically for David? Or they were very BIG bottles, haha.)

She HASTENS to David, and she falls on her face at his feet and BEGS. Here are some of her pleadings.

Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be:

Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial

but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.

seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand

now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given

I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the Lord, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.

That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless

I've left parts out, but I find it all so amazing. Abigail, the creator of rejoicing, sends a blessing in advance to soothe the emotions and provide for what was needed. She HASTENS to David and begs him to forgive HER. She takes full responsibility for the sin of another, even though she was sinless. She sees the goodness in David and explains that his purpose is important and she does not want to see him abandon God's purposes for him. She does not want it to be a "grief unto thee."

Fortunately, at least for that time and purpose, David's heart is softened. He blesses God, her, her advice, and recognizes that she has spared him greater trouble and greater sin. He sends her on her way in peace, and that is THE END OF IT. We don't hear David complaining later, "can you believe that Nabal, thank goodness for Abigail! I'd have killed that dude if she hadn't come along." Maybe there was some discussion about it, but it's a good model for us to follow.

How do I think this applies to me? Abigail shows us how Christ is willing to rescue us when someone else has sinned against us. Christ sends us a blessing immediately (if we are willing to accept it?) perhaps exactly what we need to succor ourselves. He then HASTENS to us (if we will allow Him?) and begs us to forgive. He is pleading with us to let the sins of others to be upon HIM. He is perfect and yet He pleads to let us let HIM take the responsibility for the sin committed against us on Himself even though He is sinless. And He asks this of us, because He has already paid the price of every sin everyone has ever committed. Ours. Others. And our sins against each other.

That was a revolutionary thought to me. It shouldn't be, but it was. Being human, as hard as it is not to feel anger, or want revenge, or talk about the other's weaknesses to our friends, etc, etc, that sin has already been reconciled through the suffering and atonement of Jesus Christ. Justice has already been done. Mercy is offered in the gifts offered by Christ to us as He comes rushing to our aid. We simply need to receive. Ok, simply may be the wrong word, because as feeble humans, we experience hurt, betrayal, pain, sadness when others act accidentally or on purpose to harm us. And sometimes it's not very simple.

Perhaps we could do better (talking to myself here) if instead of nursing our wounds and incredulity that people could act the way they sometimes do, if we chose to think of our Savior rushing to our aid and standing there at the door, ready if we will open it and let Him in, and receive the gifts He has for us. Is it as simple as praying? "Dear Heavenly Father, ___________ has hurt me deeply. I want to be angry, and I am hurting, and I want to do what I WANT to feel better, but I am asking you to bring the gifts you know I need, to ease my troubled mind, to calm my troubled heart, to allow me to let go, and trust the infinite atonement of thy Son. Help me to receive forgiveness and allow forgiveness and to move on, leaving it in your hands"

I think it's worth a try. And really this is for me, I think better as I write, and I am glad to discover that I can pray immediately for healing. I feel if I am not at least willing to try the things I've learned from Abigail, then I will be marching to Carmel, with my sword drawn, and bringing upon myself the consequences of my own actions. I will be willfully denying the atonement of Jesus Christ as He stands pleading with me, "put down your sword, let this sin be upon me."

I want to do that. I don't want to deny His atonement for others. For then, I must expect that they will wish the same for me. Thank you Abigail.

New Directions,part 2

IAT = I am thankful

for the opportunity to regularly review progress.
for inspiration and the ability to listen and learn.
for being able to choose and change.
for a day of rest.
for ham and potatoes, and cheese. 

So two weeks ago? I started off with a goal list of sorts. Not a pile of resolutions to be done all at once.  How am I doing with number 1? I've been up before six every morning I intended except 2 I think. I have a harder time being to bed by 10. I'll work on that more this week. I have improved a little bit being on time with more room to grow. I'll continue with that too.

So, the rest of my list for the year.

#6. Learning to listen and act on the spirit more. To learn better how it works and pay more attention to the still, small, voice that often whispers. And because of the chaos of noise around me, I sometimes do not hear. Or take the time for quiet moments to hear.

#7. These are all personal. Not business. #7 is organize my finances and the rest of my paper life. It is always a mess. Always overwhelming, and a constant challenge to keep track of it all.

#8. Improve my personal relationships. Evaluate how I can do better as a wife, mom, relative, friend. Be a better listener. Think of others more than my self.

#9. By this point, there should be some dramatic change in my business. But I want to spend this month evaluating what I have done and where I should improve or take direction.

#10. Plan my educational future. By this point, I should be finished or nearly so with the prerequisites needed for my masters degree that I want to pursue. Now I need to plan how to pay for it and when to begin and how to make it happen.

#11. Hmmmm, a break? No. All things spiritual. How is my relationship with God, am I continuing in gratitude, do I study His word each day. Do I ponder? Is number 2 and number 6 still working? Am I worshiping in places that are meaningful to me; church, temple, nature, quietude? Do I notice others?

#12. And finally, and purposely chosen for December, improving selflessness. I have two of the greatest examples ever in my life to follow, besides Jesus Christ. My dear husband, who will willingly set his own wants and needs aside for someone else in greater or even lesser need. And his dear mother, where he must have learned it from. Truly one of the kindest, most noble women I've ever known. It brings tears to my eyes to even think about it. I'm so lucky to have such a good example for my mother-in-law. And I want to do more of setting myself aside to make others comfortable as they have shown me in action rather than words.

And that's my very long list that I'll be referring to often to see how I can improve. Finishing this month with time, and moving on next month to my personal studies. I'd rather study than just about even breathe. :-) So, it needs a little reigning in. And that is my direction for 2014.