IAT When Others are Gracious

IAT = I am thankful

Yesterday the Bish asked me to speak with him in Sacrament meeting. I like to make his life easier, so I said yes. He said I could have 10 minutes and use one of my old talks if I wanted, so I wasn't too worried. But, in the end, I decided to use parts from two conference talks I recently read. They are:

The Atonement Covers All Pain

Face the Future With Faith

I really am a better writer than speaker. So, the preparation never unnerves me. But as soon as I am standing at the podium, my heart is pounding. While my husband can write a few brief notes and then fill it all in as he stands and allows the Spirit to guide his words, I have to write the whole thing out and then hope I don't read it word for word. In some ways, he is a natural teacher. It helps that he teaches for a living and after studying the standard works multiple times, it has become second nature to him to be able to talk about most any gospel subject naturally. It's his gift. I have other gifts, but I still hope I can become such a good teacher of gospel principles on my feet.

Anyway, in spite of my limitations at the pulpit, many people were gracious enough to express their sentiments about their enjoyment of my talk and the Bish. I am grateful that people are willing to lift me by encouraging me to continue to try to improve. I do enjoy speaking, but it's really the preparation I like. Hopefully some day, I'll also really enjoy the speaking part. You can read my talk by clicking on the articles/talks tab above.

IAT for Master Minds

IAT = I am thankful

So, I've been a student of self-improvement books for many, many years. Parenting, health, marriage, self, etc. The first self help book I read was off my dad's bookshelf in high school. Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. That book really shaped my approach to dealing with people.  I read Zig Zigler books, Og Mandino, and more.

The last five years or so as I discovered the wonderful EFT, I also came across lots of spiritual books that have helped me to hopefully continue to grow. Books like Leadership and Self-Deception, The Peacegiver, Remembering Wholeness, Loving What Is, and about a hundred others. Not to mention the very cool Philosopher's Notes, Leslie Householder, Kirk Duncan, and other great people I am meeting and learning from. In all of that, I discovered something called Master Mind groups. Here's the first article I could find about that and I haven't even read it. But I am too lazy to explain it. http://www.passionforbusiness.com/articles/mastermind-group.htm

So, I decided I wanted to do that and keep growing. I now belong to a very small group. There are 2 healers, a doctor, and an author. I'm the only girl. But, I think we have another girl joining (another healer). Anyway, for almost the last two years, we've been meeting almost every Saturday morning at 6 or 6:30am to discuss books, uplifting topics, learn techniques of writing, business, accomplishing, and helping each other to grow and solve the problems we come upon. We encourage each other and try to inspire one another to go after our dreams. It really is an awesome thing, minus the getting up early on Saturdays. :-)

It's been amazing. And it helps me to try to be better than I am because I feel an obligation to the group to do my best and to myself. I have been grappling with a question for the last week or so. The question is private. I have a ton of gratitude to my friend who helped me verbalize the question. It was formulated from life events I've been struggling with for some time. And she helped me discover my core belief, which is "I find value in every relationship and live my life with no regrets."

Today one of the healers was leading the discussion and we were talking about a book called the Power of Love. The discussion turned to one of the chapters on Feeling Frequencies and then some of my concerns and questions came out. Without sharing details of my situation, but understanding where I was coming from, the 2 men on the call this morning really helped me walk through, talk through some of the things that have been weighing me down.

And then the answer to my question popped right through. And it makes so much sense to me.

Usually each week we share our wins for the week. I came this week feeling like I had none. But by the end of the call, I recognized several. I am so grateful for the turnaround in my thinking, all because a question was answered. I really appreciate the insights of the men in my Mastermind group. A big thank you to them.

Oh how IAT for Conference--Little sheep

IAT = I am thankful

I saw a lovely count down to conference thing on facebook a couple of weeks ago with a challenge to read a conference talk every day. So, I downloaded conference from April to my Kindle and read a talk or two every day, since I also miss a few days at a time. I hope I get them all read. Today I am reading

Establishing a Christ-Centered Home by Richard J. Maynes 

Here is a poem he shared in his talk by C.C. Miller

The Echo

’Twas a sheep not a lamb

That strayed away in the parable Jesus told,

A grown-up sheep that strayed away

From the ninety and nine in the fold.

And why for the sheep should we seek

And earnestly hope and pray?

Because there is danger when sheep go wrong:

They lead the lambs astray.

Lambs will follow the sheep, you know,

Wherever the sheep may stray.

When sheep go wrong,

It won’t take long till the lambs are as wrong as they.

And so with the sheep we earnestly plead

For the sake of the lambs today,

For when the sheep are lost

What a terrible cost

The lambs will have to pay.

I really do believe that some children whether you do every thing right or everything wrong, you can't take the credit. Or the blame. As the case may be. Some children, no matter what you do or don't do succeed or fail on their own or in rebellion. But, in most cases, children are choosing direction based on their environment and experiences. I wonder in how many ways I have strayed, contributing to personality weaknesses or choices in my children, that I will have on my head? Fortunately there is repentance, for me, and for them. And we can always change and ask for forgiveness. I've had to do that more than once with my children. I hope for the most part, the environment they have lived in, is contributing to what I see as bright, capable human beings. I hope they all fly, and shine their lights and feel bad when they do bad. And celebrate when they succeed.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to sing a song in the adult session of stake conference. It was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life!!! To make matters worse, it was a song with lyrics similar to the poem above.

It was called Keeping Sheep and as much as I tried to get through it without tears, I could not. I mean my first missionary was leaving our home that year for cryin' out loud. That was just cruel. I should have said no. Haha. You can listen to the first part of the song at the link below and the lyrics are below that.

Keeping Sheep Listen

Keeping Sheep

I have a little flock of sheep
And they are mine to tend and keep.
And I must guard them every day
For little lambs, when left alone,
Will lose their way.

So many voices say to me,
A sheep fold is no place to be.
Your time in there is dull and slow,
And lambs leave very little room
For you to grow.

Chorus:
So if I ever start to stray,
Deceived by thought of green pastures,
Remind me, Lord, that keeping sheep
Will lead to happier ever-afters.
Will lead to happier ever-afters.

Oh, surely there will come a day
When all the lambs have left my side,
And I am free to roam about,
And go exploring other meadows,
Green and wide.

Yet something whispers in my heart
That when my sheep have left this pen
I’ll long to stoke their little heads,
To draw them close to me
And have them young again.

Repeat Chorus

So while they still are in my care
I pray that I will clearly see
These little lambs within my fold
Are tender gifts the Master Shepherd
Has given me.

See? Do you think you could sing that with all the love of your children in your heart? It was hard.

I am grateful that I have had the experience of tending a flock of little sheep. Almost half of them are grown and on their way and ready to create their own flocks. I have had to remind myself repeatedly as I consider options, desires, directions I can go, that the remaining flock has just as much right to my shepherding as the older ones did. And so, I try to choose things that revolve around them, so that I can continue to point them to the Master Shepherd. I just love my family! They mean everything to me. As long as I have them and my faith, I can do anything.

IAT for "Rest"

IAT = I am thankful

Here are the definitions for rest that I think apply.

verb /rest/ 
rested, past participle; rested, past tense; resting, present participle; rests, 3rd person singular present

Allow to be inactive in order to regain strength, health, or energy
• - her friend read to her while she rested her eyes
Be based on or grounded in; depend on
• - the country's security rested on its alliances
Place hope, trust, or confidence on or in
• - she rested her hopes in her attorney
Belong or be located at a specified place or with a specified person
• - ultimate control rested with the founders

When I was in high school, I was in the women's choir at first. We were called the Chansons. Later I became a member of the Varsity Choir. I tried out for All state choir with this song. I think. It was suggested to me by my choir director, and I loved it even then. I was happy to receive excellent marks and make All state, although I never went on to participate because of another conflict. But this morning, these words came back to me over the years. I do not resonate with evil doers. I think most people are doing the best they can. But the words and music were a blessing to me this morning.  I can regain strength by being grounded in, placing my hope in, and belonging to my Savior, Jesus Christ. What a comfort. I know He knows my heart's desires and through him, I will see them realized. And I will wait patiently and rest in Him.

O rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him,

And He shall give thee thy hearts desires.

Commit thy way to Him, and trust in Him,

And fret not thyself because of evil doers.

O rest in the Lord, and wait, wait patiently for Him.

Felix Mendelssohn

IA NOT T for my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week!

IAT = I am thankful

You know Alexander and his story? Well, I can relate. I'd love to go to Australia. Heck just moving to the next county over would be an improvement. I've been stretched to my limit with some relationships here. I'm not going to explain who I am, or how I feel, or why I do what I do, other than to say, that at the heart of all I do, relationships are what matter, and feelings are what matter. ALWAYS. Did you get that? Or should I repeat it?

My secondary business (see www.dailyabundance.net) is helping people heal from their emotional hurts. I would not purposely hurt someone's feelings EVER. And I am not perfect, but I watch my tongue. I am very careful what I say and to whom I say it. I bend over backwards to understand and be understood. To be kind. To allow for weaknesses. To see the good. To forgive and try again. With me, what you see is what you get. Oops, I guess I just explained myself. Oh well, MY BLOG!

Soooo, when I have a misunderstanding with someone and they REFUSE to talk about a problem, I don't understand. When I have a problem or disagreement, I believe I should go to that person that I have the problem with and I ask some questions, explain my point of view, and try to understand where they are coming from, and then when I am COMPLETELY ignored...further then I am .....edited....., I don't understand. When I am ...edited... against (you'll never know the details), I don't understand. When I am "one upped", I don't understand. (I am not talking about one person here, just so we understand, haha).

When a friendship seems to be improving and my heart does this little leap for joy, and I let my guard down and I share a simple thing with absolutely no negativity at all (and this was my mistake, I take that responsibility--I guess you cannot talk about any difficulty without the chance of someone twisting it so into distortion, that it is just not wise to do so), and then that thing is thrown back at me with ...edited... through phone calls accusing me of ...edited...and parents accusing me of ...edited......I don't understand.

When people do all they can to avoid you and make sure they don't have to look you in the eye, I don't understand. I don't get it at all.

I don't understand!!!!

And there is not one thing I can do about it. I'm the bishop's wife. I put on my smile. I keep my words to myself. I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I cry my eyes out and then like my Granny used to sing to me "just pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again." 'Cause another thing about me is...I would NEVER do anything to bring disgrace to the office of my bishop who happens to be my husband.

Speaking of that beautiful husband of mine. I AM THANKFUL that he is there for me. He listens. He doesn't tell me what I should do. He counsels me. He understands. He is faithful. And darnit, he's not home for a few days this week! But before he left, he gave me a beautiful blessing. Beautiful words. "Peace. Let it go. Void of offense. Beyond reproach. Focus on better things." And that is exactly what I am going to do.

I hate the thought, that sometimes you just have to let some things and some people go. I can still love. I can still reach out if ever it is welcome. But sometimes space and time is a good thing. I am grateful for the peace that is ours if we want it and reach out for it. It's a beautiful thing to feel peace during a storm. I can't say I am perfectly at peace yet, but I will be. And for that...IAT.

IAT for a FATHER in our home

IAT = I am thankful

a "real" dad moment in the Norton family

I cringe whenever I hear a "father" present or not referred to as a sperm donor. I know there are some who may deserve that label. Granted, the guy may be a ridiculous piece of work, but there had to be a receiver for the donor, and perhaps some better choices might have been made. I don't fault anyone for momentary bad judgment or making decisions that were not well thought out at an immature stage of life. Many times these experiences teach us what we need to rise above and succeed. Sometimes blessings come out of what seems like cursing. My real point is, our modern society has negated the role and value of fathers. And it's only going to get worse. See below quote from the following article  http://dailycaller.com/2011/09/02/beyonce-is-a-great-role-model-for-girls/#ixzz1XBZE6IwG

When President Lyndon Johnson declared the War on Poverty in the mid-1960s, only six percent of children were born out of wedlock. By 2008, that number had risen to 40.6 percent. That year, a remarkable 72.3 percent of African-American children — nearly three out of four — were born out of wedlock.

Numerous studies indicate that life is much more difficult for kids who grow up without a dad. They are at increased risk of everything from quitting school to drug and alcohol abuse, and they’re at high risk for poor social and cognitive development. Indeed, out-of-wedlock births are the largest indicator of poverty.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau:

— The poverty rate of single mothers with children is five times higher than for married couples with children;

— The poverty rate for single fathers is almost 2.5 times higher;

— Poor children in single-parent households constitute almost two-thirds of all poor children.

Being married gives couples a huge financial advantage. In 2008, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the poverty rate among black married couples was 6.9 percent, while the rate for non-married black families was seven times higher at 35.3 percent. That’s a huge difference. Those differences are echoed in the white community.

If you went to the original article, you will see it was about Beyonce. In this instance she may be a good role model; in her choice of the order of having children. Generally speaking, I would not say Beyonce is a good role model, but I digress.

Here's a sad quote from a link I'll mention later:

"No shame. No blame. No names." Posters bearing this slogan can be found in bus stops and on billboards all over Los Angeles, urging unhappy new mothers to drop off their babies at hospitals and fire stations. The noble intent of the Safe Haven Laws now in place in 44 states is to prevent new mothers from abandoning or killing babies they do not want. However, these laws also starkly reveal the enormous inequality in reproductive rights between American men and women.
When a woman gets pregnant she has the right to decide whether or not to carry the baby to term, and whether to raise the child herself, give it up for adoption, or abandon it shortly after its birth. Yet if she decides she wants the child, she can demand a quarter or more of the father's take home pay for 18 years and have him jailed if he is unable to pay. Fathers have a large personal stake in a decision in which they are not allowed to take any part. Their wishes are
irrelevant. When it comes to reproduction, in America today women have rights and men merely have responsibilities. -Glenn Sacks, writer and radio talk show host.

Granted, many of those not making the decisions, are dead beat dads, but as you'll see in the link later, one of the quotes mentions that women are much more likely to abuse or kill their children than men. That was unexpected! The value of fathers cannot be underestimated. So much of the ills of today's world comes because fathers are not present. In some cases only financially, in others, physically or emotionally.

I am so very grateful that we have a father in our home who provides, is present, and nurtures. I love that sometimes the kids come to me, and other times they go to him. They need both. They need to see a happy balance of personalities, thoughts, opinions, and parenting skills. Together, we have provided a safe, nurturing, success oriented environment for the little sprouts to grow. I never knew how big they'd grow! :-) Thanks to the father of our home, for being there and increasing the likelihood of well balanced, happy, and well adjusted future fathers and mothers.

http://www.fatherhood.org/
Great Fatherhood info in quotes
Sobering father statistics

IAT for the atonement of Jesus Christ and His grace

IAT = I am thankful

Originally, I wanted to write a post about how Latter-Day Saints ("Mormons") feel about grace. Except, as I listen to my peeps talk about grace, I find I disagree sometimes with what they say they believe. Not because they are wrong, but because of the emphasis. And this emphasis breaks down into a semantics problem when "Mormons" and other Christians talk about grace. We tend to get caught up in the works thing and what it actually does or does not do for us. Can I state unequivocally here that "Mormons" believe in grace. It is THE ONLY THING that saves us. Works are necessary. They come from the heart. They don't save us. There. I said it.

We had a great talk in church yesterday by Brother Richins about grace, and I agreed completely. Anyway, I thought I had given a talk about grace, and found my talk on Easter, which is actually completely woven with the concept of grace, but not explained or defined. So, I posted that on the articles/talks page. It's titled Easter and was given, I think in April of 2007 in our local ward.

But, I also decided to go to www.lds.org and look up the topic of grace and the first article I read was exceptional. You can read that here. I think it is an excellent and thorough explanation of the LDS belief in grace. I really enjoyed it. I hope you will too.