Why Realtors Should be Paid MORE!!!

IAT = I am thankful

I am thankful for those who appreciate me.
I am thankful I have a way to make a difference.
I am thankful sometimes I make a living by working.
I am thankful I can persist.
I am thankful I always have choices.

A week or so ago, someone shared someone else's opinion with me, that they thought that realtors make too much money. I laughed out loud. I can understand how it may seem like realtors just show people some properties, fill out a few papers and collect a check. I'd like to clear up a few misconceptions. Let's just start with that check. Nothing but the money.

A realtor's commission can be anywhere from 1 or 2% up to 10% of the sales price. The circumstances vary greatly and no one sets the commission but the agent themselves. My typical fee is 6%. To make the numbers easy, let's say it's a $100,000 home. Woohoo! I get $6000! Right? Wrong!!!

Usually, there is another agent involved. So, it gets split in half, right off the top. Then I pay a franchise fee, a broker fee, and Errors and Omissions insurance for each transaction. At this point, I am very close to $2000. Well, hey, that's still a lot of money for driving people around and doing paperwork. I paid for my own gas. I pay for a website every month. I pay for membership in our local Multiple Listing Service. I am required to belong to local, state, and national boards. And there is advertising, printing costs, a business phone, a computer, printer (these have to be replaced periodically), professional clothes, lock boxes, signs, office supplies, and so forth.

If I have regular sales coming in month after month after month, I can actually make a little bit of money. Twice in my 7 years, I have gone nearly a year with no sales, AND I WAS WORKING. Which means, I was taking clients out, I had all my expenses, I had listings. But they weren't selling, or after several months of work, a client is disqualified in some part of the loan process. Or, a seller would not agree to a requested repair after inspection. Or, a defect is found in the final walk through and the buyer cancels. Or, an appraiser values the home lower than expected and no one can come to an agreement. Or, the title company discovers a defect that can't be corrected. Or some party in the transaction is just a plain pain in the butt and wrecks the whole thing. 

I have 2 associates in my office who just shared a ONE PER CENT COMMISSION.

Do I have the occasional deal where I either get both sides of the transaction (I represent the buyer and the seller) and get the whole enchilada? Yes! Do I have the OCCASIONAL deal where everything goes like clock work and I fall on my knees at the end in gratitude and seriously praise my Provider? Yes! But that is really the exception to what has become the rule in real estate since 2008.

I remember when I first started, I was working 20-30 hours a week sitting at a subdivision. After 4 months, I was averaging .25 cents an hour. Yeah, that stopped.

Let's talk about all the moving parts. Me the realtor. My broker. Our office. The seller. The buyer. The other office. The other broker. The other agent. The title company. The lender. The appraiser. The inspector. And those are just the bare bones. Throw in an occasional nosey, controlling relative, a long line of other inspectors and repair people, and it's a recipe for disaster.

And what about those great hours I keep? I can work whenever I want. Yes. And no. I try as much as I can to organize my schedule around my family, my children, and our events. But it's not unusual to get a call at 7 am or 9 pm. This still really confuses me. Do people not understand business hours? Because you need to actually earn an income, sometimes you take the calls. Then there's the times you are going out of town (nearly every time) and someone wants to make an offer or list a house or see property. Now you have to bend yourself into a pretzel and get your agent friends to cover you and hope that they'll still be your client when it's all over. Not because your fellow agents aren't amazing which they are, but you do what is best for your client, not you.

Including waving good bye to them when you spent all that time and they went and bought a FSBO. 
Including doing more than extra work when your client has a tragedy.
Including maintaining your ethics and integrity when others don't care about theirs.
Including being respectful of uninformed opinions when you've been hired as the professional.
Including, waking up another day, and being hopeful after a client you've spent months with simply won't return your phone calls.
Including being gracious when others slander you or step beyond their professional bounds.
Including using thousands and thousands of minutes every month on your phone and 90% of them aren't conversations with the people you love most.

No, I just can't agree that realtors make too much money. The stuff I CAN'T say would really make you wonder why I'm still in. Suffice it to say it's the stuff that people threaten. The liability and risk I face every day just trying to help others make the biggest decisions of their lives as consumers.

What keeps me going? Sometimes I do make money. And it funds several months for one of my missionaries. Or it takes us on a vacation. Or it pays a hospital or other bill. Or it helps us achieve a goal. Or it gets us to the end of the month.

But the real pay and maybe why I just can't stop, (esp since every time I try business shows up), is helping people make the most important purchase or sale of their lives. Most people are truly grateful. Most people are truly appreciative. Every once in awhile someone recognizes that you have put everything you have in your heart and soul into a transaction to save it. Sometimes nobody actually knows how much you put your heart and soul into it. There are quiet moments where you have the opportunity to share what I call sacred space. Yes, it can happen in real estate. Because buying and selling of homes doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens while people live. During births, during deaths, during job changes, during divorces, during stresses. Sometimes people share their hearts. And it's more than just a transaction. It's the lives of people you serve. That's what I like the most. No, I probably will not get paid more. The average person will never appreciate the lengths I've gone to. They'll just see a percentage, and think I'm swimming in the cash. In the end, that's ok.

I'll be in real estate as long as I need to be in real estate. When I don't need to anymore, I won't. Until then, I'll enjoy what I can.

Confessions of Mommy Grinch?

IAT = I am thankful

I am thankful for each of my children.
I am thankful for my mom, who I never knew how I wanted.
I am thankful for my dad who was my mom for many years.
I am thankful for all of my other moms. Including my mom in law.
I am thankful for a supportive husband who helps me to be a better mom.

I have a confession to make. I hate Hallmark cards. Ok, hate is a strong word and not all Hallmark cards. I'm talking about the contrived iambic pentamer rhymes that are dripping with syrup. Maybe there is something wrong with me? But I'd much rather have a home made card by my Arteest, or a store bought card with a non rhyming heart felt sentiment. Weird huh?

I think the book I'll Love You Forever is a bit creepy. Yes! I read it to my kids often, but an old woman taking her son out of bed and rocking every night? Creep factor! I'm sentimental but I don't like glurge. Contrived stories or sentiments that have more to do with a point than the sad story it tells. Example. I hope I don't offend. Maybe you'll just feel sorry for me. These kinds of facebook posts make me want to delete my account. (Ohhhhh! That's how we can get rid of her!!!)

There are times, few times, that I worry about one of my children. But there are entire days, some times a few days in a row, where I don't think about my married sons. Gasp! I guess I'm a horrible mother. Here's the thing. They have wives! Now maybe this idea came from a young mom with children at home. I still have children at home and there are days when they are off to school that I don't think about what they are doing at school. Gasp! I know. Call CPS and take them away. Now, there's nothing wrong with a mom who wants to worry about her children every day and think about them every minute, I just don't. And if I do, I don't think I need to share it. And I don't think that if I don't worry, I don't love my children. Hogwash.

I pray for my children every single day. But every single week of their lives at least once, sometimes daily, my intent is to rear them so that when they leave the house, I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY. I have faith in what I am teaching them and their ability to act on it until they act in such a way that I can't have faith in it. I have enough to "worry" about my own life without worrying about all 7 of my children. It doesn't mean I don't love them. It just means I have confidence in them. I pray for them every single day, and I leave them in God's care. Worry just isn't me, unless Bret is late coming home and then if it's more than an hour, I've gotten the knock on the door, planned his funeral, brought myself to tears, and am worrying how we will survive, when he drives up! :-)

My favorite children's book that came out when I only had a few toddlers left at home is The Seven Silly Eaters. Oddly, very rhymy and I don't care. I could not read it EVER without crying. Because it was about as real life as it gets with a large family. I should have told my family to get me that for Mother's Day. :-)

If you've never read it, go here. The Seven Silly Eaters

This is my fondest memory of Motherhood. These days are gone. The quiet moments, when a content baby snuggles up under your chin, and you sigh, that for a few moments, the world is as it should be. I had this beautiful time for at least 7-14 years. While they were small, nestling up against me. Thank goodness for grandbabies!

One last thought, mothers get so much credit. "The greatest profession in the world!" I know that Mother's Day is for mothers, and some mothers don't have a husband and father in the home. But in this home we do. And I could never have been a good mother, without my darling husband who worked hard so I could stay home; who together, we often sacrificed so we could have the life we wanted with me at home with the babies. He was always willing at the end of a long day when I was tired, to help with whatever was needed. He was tired too. He still is. And still does. Any success I achieve will be because I have an awesome partner and support.

No, I'm not grinchy toward motherhood. My little heart has grown into a swelled version of it's former self because it was filled with love for my children and FROM my children. My greatest blessings in the world.

Mom-The Balancing Act

IAT = I am thankful

For lives well lived.
For lives well loved.
For lives of example.
For lives to emulate.
For longing for reunion.

I often feel like this. Except with roller skates. It's of my own doing in pursuing one too many good things. Recently with so many good things, I've felt a little frustrated, realizing I need some time to put all of the things in the air down, to just enjoy breathing, and being with my family, and quiet time, and breathing, and a hobby now and then.

So, I'm making new better choices. I'm prioritizing. Deciding what to put down for now. What to keep up in the air. And looking for some breathing room. I got stuck in a brief "it's not fair" pity party. But decided just to do my best. Keep on until I finish up something. And not replace it with anything. Whew! Lots of good changes and good things in my life. Reminding myself to embrace real balance. Not the crazy cat in the hat kind.

WHAT is she doing NOW???

IAT = I am thankful

For my high spiritedness.
For my goofiness.
For my willingness to roll with the punches.
For my teachableness.
For my willingness to share what I learn.

You know, sometimes it's just important to recognize your strengths. :-)

Because I have lots of weaknesses. I think I have a tendency to be gullible. Hopefully my brother is not reading. Because he has tales to tell I'm sure. But over the years, I have gained more wisdom. At least I hope I have.

Bret and I were counting the other day, and we got way past ten as the number of network marketing companies we had joined. Ok, it might have even been 20. And we finally developed a motto for any Network marketing company that we had no interest in product or business. "We don't do drugs, porn, or network marketing." :-) If you're friends are doing this:

then you know you've joined one too many. Fortunately after the first few, I quit making a list of my "circle of influence" because there was no way I was going to approach my friends anymore. Aaaaand, the last decade at least, if I joined a network marketing company, it was because I loved the product, I am cheap and refuse to pay retail, and if I thought it could help someone, I just told that someone. I didn't go throw up on all my family and friends. I think that is why I still have some good relationships, haha.

But, I want to explain myself anyway. The most successful company I ever joined that actually made me money, less all the fun stuff I bought, was Close to My Heart. But, I'm not sure I ever signed anyone up. I just had scrapbook parties. That was very fun. I currently belong to The AIM Companies. They produce a product called BarleyLife, and I love that product for the miracles it has done for some of my friends with cancer. I take Barleylife on and off.

I also belong to Doterra. I really thought that would be a part of my business, but it seems like every corner has a doTerra consultant, and I just love the products. They are truly some of the best, most amazing I've ever experienced! I use them nearly daily. I took a product for at least six months, hoping it would be the thing that helped me reach new weight goals. But after a lot of time and money, it did not help me with that goal and everyone I suggested it to, did not have great results. There are a lot of people out there that seem to be having results, just not very many people I know.

But I'm too stubborn to give up. So, I was approached by a very friendly lady with a proposition to partner up with products and coaching and I told her multiple times, I don't do that network marketing thing, but I'll try the products and help you train your people. This past year I read a bit about intermittent fasting. They had a cleanse product that could be used with fasting. I did a nine day cleanse and dropped 8 pounds! Wow. I've dropped nearly 7 more. Now I want to see if I can help others do the same.


So I am beginning a health program combined with coaching. And it will be a long term part of my business. But I'm not going to tell you about it here. You'll find out. And I think the real reason most people fail in network marketing, is they expect to be that standout success that they've heard about. When it doesn't happen when they run out of friends and family hiding from them, (after...less than 100 days) they give up. I think more people could succeed if they just kept going. So, if you have one you really like and believe in, stick with it.

And if you want to know about any I mentioned, let me know. That's what I'm up to. And you'll hear more for sure. 

I'm not really a Valentine Grinch

IAT = I am thankful

for things that remind us to love.
for people who love me.
for people *I* can love.
for experiencing real love.
for having the opportunity to show real love.

Ah Valentine's Day. The romance of it all. I'm kind of not a fan. Ok, I like thinking about love and my loving relationships. I'm so grateful I have them in abundance. I like the reminder to BE loving towards those who are in my realm of loving relationships. But, I'm not really a fan of a contrived commercial event that forces people to give cards, flowers, candy, and gifts to justify something that should already exist in loving relationships. It's a fun day and a fun time. And I know my girls love being the object of their Dad's affection.

Ever heard of the



Mine isn't gifts. So truly, my sweetheart could BUY me NOTHING, and I can still be happy. Now if he IGNORED my completely, I might feel a sting. Because mine is words of affirmation and quality time. So, if he showed up after my chemistry class. Haha, get it? Chemistry. And whisked me off and sat and talked with me for hours...ROMANCE!

President David A Bednar said:

We can begin to become more diligent and concerned at home by telling the people we love that we love them. Such expressions do not need to be flowery or lengthy. We simply should sincerely and frequently express love....

Sometimes in a sacrament meeting talk or testimony, we hear a statement like this: “I know I do not tell my spouse often enough how much I love her. Today I want her, my children, and all of you to know that I love her.” Such an expression of love may be appropriate. But when I hear a statement like this, I squirm and silently exclaim that the spouse and children should not be hearing this apparently rare and private communication in public at church! Hopefully the children hear love expressed and see love demonstrated between their parents in the regular routine of daily living. If, however, the public statement of love at church is a bit surprising to the spouse or the children, then indeed there is a need to be more diligent and concerned at home.

You are much better off reading the just recommended book and begin SPEAKING the language of love that is unique to your loved one. And then there are others. Friends and acquaintances. How do we express love and respect to them? Today has me thinking about great advice I've heard in the past about relationships. And it applies whether it is a close loved one, a friend, or someone we really can't stand. Because on this day of love, there are many in situations that are not so loving.

My invitation if you are in a loving relationship and are remembered today. Be grateful. If you are not in a loving relationship where you are appreciated, you know how awful it feels. Is there someone else you can reach out to in a worse situation than yours and express love to them? I am sure they would appreciate it and you'll feel better too. And what about if you are in a loving relationship but they just don't get it, or they forgot it, or they may never get it? But they do love you? Do the most loving thing you can today, and forgive them. Because real love is unconditional and doesn't pitch a fit because they did not fulfill the mathematical commercial equation set for a contrived day we call February 14/Valentine's Day.

Finally, for the people who get under your skin. Who you think are impossible to love. Who you'd rather think of anyone else than them on this day. Two pieces of advice I love. The first from a modern wise man. The second from an ancient one. Happy Valentine's Day yawl. Go find someone to love!

But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

And.

"One day Socrates was walking down a street with some friends when a nobleman approached. As was customary, Socrates greeted him, but the nobleman walked straight past, declining to return the courtesy. The friends of the philosopher were angry at the nobleman but Socrates used the incident to teach a lesson.

'Suppose,' said Socrates, 'you meet a man on the street with poorer clothing than your own? Would that make you angry? Why then are you angry at a man who has poorer mental habits than you possess?'

Awesome!

Finally, a shout out to my darling. He reads these. :-) He's my biggest fan. "Real love is NOT based on romance, candle light dinner and walks along the beach. In fact, 'LOVE' is based on Respect, Compromise, Care & Trust." I don't know who said that, but I like it. I'm sure he's relieved I feel that way. What I really think about love is how it is expressed in scripture.

I married a man who walks the walk and talks the talk every day. So grateful I made the best decision of my life for my life.

Lessons from Abigail

IAT = I am thankful

I am thankful I was born.
I am thankful Walt Disney was born.
I'm thankful for well wishers on my birthday.
I'm thankful for my silly children.
I'm thankful to celebrate my birthday during the Christmas season.

I started this post over a month ago.

Today is my birthday and I "got" to speak in church today. Yay. Not. Well, I really don't mind speaking. I like the preparation. I just always hope it will be beneficial to someone besides me. So, we were given (as a family) the topic of the atonement. Olivia read 2 scriptures. Noah focused on the definition of the atonement, Emily talked about how broken things are mended by the atonement. I spoke on how the atonement applies in our relationship with God, Christ, and others. And Bret talked about how the atonement covers more than sin. How we are always "unprofitable" servants, and how we could do nothing without the atonement. You can find my talk over on the talk page. It is a bit similar to the talk I gave in January in the Thatcher ward.

But the crux of the last half of my talk was found in 1 Samuel 25. Here are things I have learned from Abigail (and others in the story). She's a type of Christ. If you don't know what a type is, you can read about that here. I love that this type is a woman.

The players names are David, which means beloved.
Nabal, which means fool.
and Abigail, which means Father of rejoicing. It might also mean Creator of rejoicing.

We learn that Nabal was very wealthy and lived in Carmel. He had thousands of sheep and goats in the wilderness. He had great possessions and it was sheep shearing time. He is described as churlish and evil. Abigail, on the other hand was a woman of good understanding, and a beautiful countenance.

David had been in the Judean wilderness with 600 soldiers hiding out from King Saul. Instead of taking advantage of and plundering Nabal's flocks, he had taken care of them and made sure none were missing. He likely befriended the shepherds as well. But David was low in supplies for his men.

He sends 10 young men to bless Nabal and his house, and ask for help in return for the protection of his flocks. Nabal, THE FOOL, basically questions David as to who he is and his importance and tells his "young men" to go take a flying leap. Oops.

David is so angry that he tells 2/3 of his army to mount up because as my dad likes to say, "hell's coming to breakfast." But the scriptures say that David intended to kill any in the household of Nabal, "any that pisseth against the wall."

If you read closely, 9 of the soldiers returned. One went immediately to Abigail and raised the alarm with her. He must have known what David's response would be. And what is Abigail's response? Does she pack up her handmaids and head for the hills? Does she hide in the basement? Does she alert Nabal? No, no, and no.

Her response is amazing. You read it. She must have realized with full force what her husband's foolish actions would bring. This Proverbs 31 woman knew that perhaps her entire household would be destroyed. Perhaps it was a move of preservation? But I believe it was much more. She has many supplies prepared and sends them immediately to David. And then she nearly immediately heads out herself to meet David. And then if you read closely, one of the most amazing stories of all time is told. At least that is how it has impacted me. (As a side note, I find it funny that only 2 bottles of wine were sent for 600 men. Maybe they were specifically for David? Or they were very BIG bottles, haha.)

She HASTENS to David, and she falls on her face at his feet and BEGS. Here are some of her pleadings.

Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be:

Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial

but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.

seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand

now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given

I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the Lord, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.

That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless

I've left parts out, but I find it all so amazing. Abigail, the creator of rejoicing, sends a blessing in advance to soothe the emotions and provide for what was needed. She HASTENS to David and begs him to forgive HER. She takes full responsibility for the sin of another, even though she was sinless. She sees the goodness in David and explains that his purpose is important and she does not want to see him abandon God's purposes for him. She does not want it to be a "grief unto thee."

Fortunately, at least for that time and purpose, David's heart is softened. He blesses God, her, her advice, and recognizes that she has spared him greater trouble and greater sin. He sends her on her way in peace, and that is THE END OF IT. We don't hear David complaining later, "can you believe that Nabal, thank goodness for Abigail! I'd have killed that dude if she hadn't come along." Maybe there was some discussion about it, but it's a good model for us to follow.

How do I think this applies to me? Abigail shows us how Christ is willing to rescue us when someone else has sinned against us. Christ sends us a blessing immediately (if we are willing to accept it?) perhaps exactly what we need to succor ourselves. He then HASTENS to us (if we will allow Him?) and begs us to forgive. He is pleading with us to let the sins of others to be upon HIM. He is perfect and yet He pleads to let us let HIM take the responsibility for the sin committed against us on Himself even though He is sinless. And He asks this of us, because He has already paid the price of every sin everyone has ever committed. Ours. Others. And our sins against each other.

That was a revolutionary thought to me. It shouldn't be, but it was. Being human, as hard as it is not to feel anger, or want revenge, or talk about the other's weaknesses to our friends, etc, etc, that sin has already been reconciled through the suffering and atonement of Jesus Christ. Justice has already been done. Mercy is offered in the gifts offered by Christ to us as He comes rushing to our aid. We simply need to receive. Ok, simply may be the wrong word, because as feeble humans, we experience hurt, betrayal, pain, sadness when others act accidentally or on purpose to harm us. And sometimes it's not very simple.

Perhaps we could do better (talking to myself here) if instead of nursing our wounds and incredulity that people could act the way they sometimes do, if we chose to think of our Savior rushing to our aid and standing there at the door, ready if we will open it and let Him in, and receive the gifts He has for us. Is it as simple as praying? "Dear Heavenly Father, ___________ has hurt me deeply. I want to be angry, and I am hurting, and I want to do what I WANT to feel better, but I am asking you to bring the gifts you know I need, to ease my troubled mind, to calm my troubled heart, to allow me to let go, and trust the infinite atonement of thy Son. Help me to receive forgiveness and allow forgiveness and to move on, leaving it in your hands"

I think it's worth a try. And really this is for me, I think better as I write, and I am glad to discover that I can pray immediately for healing. I feel if I am not at least willing to try the things I've learned from Abigail, then I will be marching to Carmel, with my sword drawn, and bringing upon myself the consequences of my own actions. I will be willfully denying the atonement of Jesus Christ as He stands pleading with me, "put down your sword, let this sin be upon me."

I want to do that. I don't want to deny His atonement for others. For then, I must expect that they will wish the same for me. Thank you Abigail.

New Directions,part 2

IAT = I am thankful

for the opportunity to regularly review progress.
for inspiration and the ability to listen and learn.
for being able to choose and change.
for a day of rest.
for ham and potatoes, and cheese. 

So two weeks ago? I started off with a goal list of sorts. Not a pile of resolutions to be done all at once.  How am I doing with number 1? I've been up before six every morning I intended except 2 I think. I have a harder time being to bed by 10. I'll work on that more this week. I have improved a little bit being on time with more room to grow. I'll continue with that too.

So, the rest of my list for the year.

#6. Learning to listen and act on the spirit more. To learn better how it works and pay more attention to the still, small, voice that often whispers. And because of the chaos of noise around me, I sometimes do not hear. Or take the time for quiet moments to hear.

#7. These are all personal. Not business. #7 is organize my finances and the rest of my paper life. It is always a mess. Always overwhelming, and a constant challenge to keep track of it all.

#8. Improve my personal relationships. Evaluate how I can do better as a wife, mom, relative, friend. Be a better listener. Think of others more than my self.

#9. By this point, there should be some dramatic change in my business. But I want to spend this month evaluating what I have done and where I should improve or take direction.

#10. Plan my educational future. By this point, I should be finished or nearly so with the prerequisites needed for my masters degree that I want to pursue. Now I need to plan how to pay for it and when to begin and how to make it happen.

#11. Hmmmm, a break? No. All things spiritual. How is my relationship with God, am I continuing in gratitude, do I study His word each day. Do I ponder? Is number 2 and number 6 still working? Am I worshiping in places that are meaningful to me; church, temple, nature, quietude? Do I notice others?

#12. And finally, and purposely chosen for December, improving selflessness. I have two of the greatest examples ever in my life to follow, besides Jesus Christ. My dear husband, who will willingly set his own wants and needs aside for someone else in greater or even lesser need. And his dear mother, where he must have learned it from. Truly one of the kindest, most noble women I've ever known. It brings tears to my eyes to even think about it. I'm so lucky to have such a good example for my mother-in-law. And I want to do more of setting myself aside to make others comfortable as they have shown me in action rather than words.

And that's my very long list that I'll be referring to often to see how I can improve. Finishing this month with time, and moving on next month to my personal studies. I'd rather study than just about even breathe. :-) So, it needs a little reigning in. And that is my direction for 2014.