for prayer, grace, mercy, the Comforter, an eternal plan
Just over a week ago, I received tragic news of a sweet child, dear to a church my cousin attends in Georgia. The family of this child had recently bought a home with a pool. They were at the home to check on some things before they moved in. This darling brown-eyed, blond, three year-old boy, slipped quietly undetected outside and fell in the pool. By the time he was found, he was already gone, but paramedics were able to bring back his heartbeat. As word spread, hundreds, maybe thousands across the country began imploring heaven for a miracle in this family's behalf. After several days, and agonizing decisions, this sweet little guy went home to heaven, leaving several other people on THEIR way with a renewed life because of his donations to them.
During those days, as I joined many others in praying for Christian, I read these verses.
21 Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
Surely many believed that Christian would be spared and awaken into the loving arms of his joyful family. Instead, I am sure he was welcomed into the loving arms of family that went before him. Why? Why did he have to leave a grieving, despairing family behind? I learned a long time ago, that why is rarely a good question to ask in these kinds of situations. A better question might be, what can I/will I learn from this? An even better question, what do YOU want me to learn from this experience?
Why do we have to suffer anyway? I personally know people who have suffered through the suicides of family members, the murder of family members, their own rape, abuse, or similar wrongs at the hands of others. Death of children, unexpected life course through accident, disability, or unplanned divorce or infidelity. The list goes on and on and you know people too, in similar circumstances.
It hurts! It's hard to get through! Why would God allow suffering anyway? I can only speak to my own experience and my conclusions from my own thoughts.
THE defining moment for me, after being on the child's side of 3 divorces, was the death of my mother by her own hand when I was 19. I only had her for about 7 of those years, mostly on the front end. You can read those details here. I learned how precious people and moments are and not to take them for granted. That was just one of my childhood difficulties. There were many more.
The day Christian passed from this life, I went to Pima's seminary graduation. Emily attends Thatcher High School, but graduations are done by stake, so we attended Pima's. Our stake president brought up some interesting points that I want to share because they tie in to my learning about suffering. Pres Beus spoke of Nehemiah rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. His enemies sent letters to him multiple times to meet with them and come down from the wall. Nehemiah's response was, "I am doing a great work and cannot come down." Then he told about Nephi, who from the outside seemed like he was a bit of a failure. His father sent he and his brothers to complete a task, but it took them several tries. But the only reason they succeeded is because Nephi kept saying, "I will go and do." The older brothers were ready to pack up and go home after the first attempt.
Just prior to Pres Beus, Brother Tilley, the seminary teacher spoke about a verse in the Book of Mormon. In Alma 44: 5, Moroni lists all of the reasons that they have prevailed over Zerahemnah. "...by our faith, by our religion, and by our rites of worship, and by our church, and by the sacred support which we owe to our wives and our children, by that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country; yea, and also by the maintenance of the sacred word of God, to which we owe all our happiness; and by all that is most dear unto us—" Their faith, family, and the word of God brought them happiness. Interesting to me since they had just been through a terrible war. But they were still happy.
What does that have to do with suffering? Well, first of all, the Savior of the world never gave up. What if he made it half way through his suffering (in the garden) and decided not to finish on the cross? What if he got to my trials and said, you know I just can't take one more person's sins and heartache? What if he'd run for the hills and lived out his life in a cave in solitary peace? Well, the whole plan would have been thwarted. Jesus was acquainted with suffering because He took the entire world's suffering, person by person, upon himself. Not just sin, but sorrow, and all other suffering. How in the world can we expect to come to Him after this life and to be "joint heirs" and glorified if we aren't at least slightly acquainted with the same sorrows and suffering?
Elder Hallstrom, said in April 2016, the following:
In real life, we face actual, not imagined, hardships. There is pain—physical, emotional, and spiritual. There are heartbreaks when circumstances are very different from what we had anticipated. There is injustice when we do not seem to deserve our situation. There are disappointments when someone we trusted failed us. There are health and financial setbacks that can be disorienting. There may be times of question when a matter of doctrine or history is beyond our current understanding.
When difficult things occur in our lives, what is our immediate response? Is it confusion or doubt or spiritual withdrawal? Is it a blow to our faith? Do we blame God or others for our circumstances? Or is our first response to remember who we are—that we are children of a loving God? Is that coupled with an absolute trust that He allows some earthly suffering because He knows it will bless us, like a refiner’s fire, to become like Him and to gain our eternal inheritance?9
The book of Abraham says, "And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;"
Will we? Do we want to belong to Him or not? Then sometimes, we get to suffer. If we hang on tight, and hold on to Jesus Christ, He will help us and strengthen us and in the end, reward us, for staying true. I will not pretend to know what it is like to lose a sweet little baby. There is no judgment from me for those who linger in grief after devastating losses. But I know this, when Peter cried out as he attempted to walk on water and failed, "Lord save me!" He will. Whether it's sin or suffering, He will because He knows this cry as well.
Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour.I know, that in our personal Gethsemanes of loss and sorrow, He is there, if we cling to Him. For we are building spiritual walls, we are expected to complete the assignments we came to complete. He invites us to return to Him and our happiness will be found in our faith in Him.
"Save Me" by Yongsung Kim
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