Victory!

I've done something dumb. I guess it's not dumb, but it has me wondering. As long as I can remember, I've wanted to run a marathon. But, as a mom, when do I have that kind of time for training? I just don't. Well, my Dr mentioned a few weeks ago that he is in a 100 mile bike race. I mentioned my desire to run a marathon and my reason why not. A few months ago, I'd had the thought, maybe I could do a half. He also mentioned, that there would be a half marathon. Hmmm.

The next week I had looked up a training schedule and started training. Last week I ran 16 miles total. This week it will be 21. Let me define ran. Covering a certain distance over the ground with my two feet. Sometimes it looks like walking, fast walking, jogging, or dragging. I lovingly refer to it as wogging.

The first day I got up in the 5am hour, my brain said, "there is NO way you can do this." (I think anything before 6am should be illegal, and even 6 is pushing it.) The next day, it said, "what are you thinking, you are over 40!!!" After a few days, it was quiet when I woke up. Of course, I was tapping on those limiting beliefs. It quit yelling at me when I woke up and moved to strategy two. Yell at her while she's running. So, I get about half way into my distance for the day, and my mind and heart go at it. Heart: "you can do this? keep going, just a little farther." Head: "Shut up and get back in the closet. You can't do it. It's too hard!"

I tap while I run, on hip pain, knee pain, my thoughts, and the pain and hysteria recedes.

Two runs ago, I thought about my missionaries. Every day, day in, day out, they are doing something hard. Doors slammed in faces, rudeness, people yelling at them, all for the chance that someone, will listen, and accept the invitation to find out. And all the while, I am sure, fighting the negative thoughts. That empowered me. I hoped my heart would be a little stronger. Surely, if my missionaries can do hard things for two years, I can run 3, 4, 6, 10, 13.1 miles. Surely, I can train for eleven weeks. So, I keep dragging and wogging.



This morning, I am so happy. Because today, my heart won out. Almost completely. I did not drag or walk slowly the whole three miles. I ran more than I have run in any previous run. My heart said, "how far can you run today?" My brain feebly said, "are you kidding?" My brain has taken a back seat to my heart. And I hope it stays there.

I love the quote by Heber J Grant that says: “ ‘That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased.’ ” The 3, 6, 10 or however many miles I run, will never change. On day one, it seemed impossible. On day 19, it has become doable...maybe. But, I believe if I persist, on day 77, it might even be, shall I dare think? Easy?

I do know, that if I persist in running, running any distance can and will become easy. Not because the miles or running changed, but because the doing of it, created a change in me. And maybe that is why I've always wanted to run a marathon. So, there could be a change in me, and so that I can prove to myself that as the scriptures say, and as I often remind my lovely missionaries, "with God, all things are possible."