I am thankful for

GIRL'S CAMP!

Strawberry Oreo Cookies???

So, I decided to start over again. Be good. Can anyone say that the week of Girl's Camp is not a good week to do this? But, really, when is it ever a good week? I suppose I should have told the Bish, because this is what he brought home today. He seems to be in tune with my inner Cookie Monster. I know I am! :-)

First glance, I thought, "that's gross." But I am always willing to try a cookie. Um yeah, ding, ding, ding. We've got a winner! I heart them. Yes, I ate some. But holding myself to three was a monumental achievement. Go buy these right now. They are yummy. Please don't call and offer me one. I will come and take them from you.

Thank you for the oreos dear.

Tender mercies

 

I've basically been motherless since I was five. Our family exploded at that time, and the story doesn't matter for the intent of this post. From the time I was five, I lived with my dad and my brother. I remember at first not missing my mother, but as time went on, I do remember shedding many bitter tears as a very young 6 and 7 year old. And all my life, there was a missing of a presence that should have been there. 

I am grateful to an aunt and a Granny who stood in and did the best they could for me when they could. I loved them so dearly. When I went to college, I sought my mother out, and we briefly reconnected before she left this earth way too early at the age of 47. I was 19. It was too early for me too. My younger half brother was 11. It was definitely way too early for him too.

I will not be sharing details in this post, because the details are for times when I am moved upon to do so. The point of this post, is the tender mercies (Psalms 145:9) of our Heavenly Father, in regard to me and the love from and for my mother.

The year following my mother's death, was probably the most difficult of my life. The next year my grandfather died. It was a very rough time. Shortly after my grandfather's death, I became engaged and was married in March of the following year. Because I chose to be married in the temple, none of my family could attend. The month before my marriage, I took my mother's name to the temple for those blessings for her. And on my wedding day, I can honestly say my prayers were answered, and I did feel my mother's presence on that special day.

There have been times when I have had heart picture moments, when I am present enough to pull myself back, and really see and enjoy the life I am living/have lived, that I wished she was around to share it. Those are the moments I usually wonder if she is near by.

I have been blessed 3 times in the last 3 years, to have a spiritual reminder that she does care about me and mine and my life. The most recent was only last week. Answered prayers are so wonderful. But prayers that are answered that never left our lips, are a treasure indeed. The Lord sees our need in advance so often, and chooses to bless us, even when it has not occurred to us to ask. I call those tender mercies for sure. And I am so thankful for them.

I KNOW my body! And I'm thankful for it. :-)

COSBY SHOW CLIP

We used to be avid Cosby Show fans. I loved little Olivia on the show. In the above clip, if you go to 5:30 and watch, it's one of my favorite clips. Makes me giggle. I wish I could embed it, but it won't.

I went for a longer walk than normal this morning, after my weekly Saturday phone call with some professional friends. One of them has recently had more than a hellacious experience physically and spiritually. Lest you think perhaps a spiritual crisis might come by one's own sin (and I know it can), this was not one of those cases. He and his family are stalwart and faithful. He used to be a bishop. His family feared for his life as he struggled with very serious symptoms. I was so glad to hear him today say that he was 90% back to normal.

It was also humbling to hear him share how he had gone to lunch with a friend and that friend had some serious family health problems as well. And my friend was so grateful for his own trials, because he recognized that there is always someone worse off than we are. As I headed out on my walk with so much ease, I was very grateful for this body I have.

There is NO WAY, you'll ever see it on the cover of a magazine (unless I am just simply rich and famous. :-) But, we get along just fine. I've had few physical challenges comparatively speaking. But as I walked, my feet could feel the pavement, my eyes could see the beauties of the desert, my ears heard the uplifting words coming from my ipod. I could feel the cool breeze and the warm sun on my face. By the time I got home, I was sweating and knew I'd had some good calorie burning. Yes, I love that I have a body to help me enjoy the simple things in life.

More than that, I can speak with my voice, think with my mind, love with my heart, and taste with my mouth. So many things we enjoy, we do because of our bodies. Well, I guess it all comes from that, except for what we feel within that is spiritual. But even so, I imagine we need our bodies for that too. Yes, I am very thankful for the spiritual and physical experiences in my life!

Thank you Kim

I'm a bit of a strange duck. I am hugely social, but also intensely private. I love to talk to anyone and everyone, but trust very few with what goes on inside of me. I am tremendously trusting though and intensely loyal. I am overly willing to believe what anyone tells me. I just cannot believe people have bad intentions until proven otherwise. I am hurt easily (sometimes), but also forgive easily (most of the time). I look for those same traits in friends; as well as strengths I do not have but wish I did.

My best friends are those who have sailed the seas of friendship with me. At times, there may be severe storms, shipwreck, and sometimes even pirates. In those experiences there may have been fear, tears, doubt; but when there is a willingness to work through those things, you can eventually be brought to sitting on deck chairs in the sun with a breeze blowing through your hair, without a care in the world.

Friendships, like any great relationship, are not always smooth sailing. But hanging on through highs and lows are where the rewards come. At least for me.

I have a friend named Kim and we've sailed the seas of friendship for at least 15 years. I can only count a handful of similar friends. There are some things I can talk to her about that nobody else would understand me. She's probably seen some of the worst and some of the best in me. And amazingly, she still wants to be my friend. I feel comfortable enough with her, that if I disagree with something, I can tell her and we can still be friends. I've had to ask her forgiveness at times and maybe she's asked me for mine though I can't remember. We are both certainly human.

I've rarely known a person who gives so much to a community. In addition to being a wife and mother of seven (and grandma), she has served on boards too numerous to mention. Here are the ones I know for sure. Farm Bureau, PTA, PAL, School Board and a recent "graduate" of Project CNTRL. She's helped several of those organizations with grants and brought help to our community in many ways. She has thrown her life behind her husband, her children, and their interests, and our community.

Today is Kim's birthday. If you happen to know her, wish her a Happy Birthday. Thanks Kim for all of your hard work in our community. And by the way, you need more pictures of you on facebook. :-)

Thanks to the authors of the past

When I was a teen, in my English class I learned about the Bronte sisters. I decided for a major report I was assigned, to read Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte pictured below. I LOVED it!!! I also read Wuthering Heights and loved it!!! I also read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice around the same time and...wait for it....loved it!!! I noticed recently that there is a movie out about Jane Eyre and wanted to reread the book. So, I started last night. I got it for free on my Kindle. :-) I got a few paragraphs into the preface and was already hooked. I think Jane Eyre was the first full length novel I read of any real depth. I think the themes of morality, faith, independence, love, atonement, forgiveness, and family all spoke to me.

I am so excited to dig into Jane Eyre and then see the movie and probably be disappointed. :-) Here is the quote that grabbed me, written under the pen name of Currer Bell.

"Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last. To pluck the mask from the face of the Pharisee, is not to lift an impious hand to the Crown of Thorns.

These things and deeds are diametrically opposed: they are as distinct as is vice from virtue. Men too often confound them: they should not be confounded: appearance should not be mistaken for truth; narrow human doctrines, that only tend to elate and magnify a few, should not be substituted for the world-redeeming creed of Christ. There is--I repeat it--a difference; and it is a good, and not a bad action to mark broadly and clearly the line of separation between them.

The world may not like to see these ideas dissevered, for it has been accustomed to blend them; finding it convenient to make external show pass for sterling worth--to let white-washed walls vouch for clean shrines. It may hate him who dares to scrutinise and expose--to rase the gilding, and show base metal under it--to penetrate the sepulchre, and reveal charnel relics: but hate as it will, it is indebted to him."

Can't wait to get my chores done and get back to it.

I am grateful for the Atonement

and for my computer...

So, I usually write late in the day or evening, but yesterday I spent a good portion of the day reviewing old talks and lessons I have given, stored safely on my computer. (If it doesn't crash--nervous laugh). I am not surprised how needed it was for me to review my own thoughts and the scriptures and words of the prophets they contained. I really liked this one. And I needed the review again. I loved preparing for it and since I am reading the Peacegiver, it goes right along with it.

I gave this in RS in January of '09 for the Presidency message. I was a counselor at the time.

Adversity and the Atonement

Each person's success and happiness, both now and in the eternities, depend largely on his or her responses to the difficulties of life. 

Adversity comes from different sources. Trials may come as a consequence of a person's own pride and disobedience. These trials can be avoided through righteous living. Other trials are simply a natural part of life and may come at times when people are living righteously. For example, people may experience trials in times of sickness or uncertainty or at the deaths of loved ones. Adversity may sometimes come because of what I refer to as bumping into another person’s agency. (Others' poor choices and hurtful words and actions). Suffering may also come through a loving Heavenly Father as a tutoring experience. 

Blessings/unkindness activity. 2 pc paper, blessings on one, unkindness on the other. Hold unkindness in front of face. Can you see your blessings? Use wastebasket to throw away unkindnesses and you are left with the blessings. Sometimes the unkindesses of others can keep us from seeing our blessings.

We know there must be opposition in all things. How can we know the joy of relationships if we do not also know the sorrows? It is the adversity in others choices and actions that I want to focus on today. How can we use the atonement to help us heal from things we have no control over? How can we be happy in spite of pain?

One of the stories about Joseph Smith that I marvel at, is the one where he is dragged into the street while tending his sick twins and is tarred and feathered. He spent the entire night with his family peeling and scraping the tar off along with much of his skin and the next morning preached a sermon, with some mobsters in the congregation, on forgiveness. Several days later they buried their baby Joseph.

Another amazing story to me is one of Dr George Ritchie, author of Return from Tomorrow. After WW11 ended, he went to help liberate the captives of the concentration camps. He spoke of a man they referred to as Wild Bill. They all thought that he had not been in the camps long because of his healthy condition. Wild Bill was loved and trusted by all in a place where no one trusted anyone else. He was a big help in reuniting families as he spoke several different languages. Dr Ritchie was astonished to find out one day that Wild Bill had been in the camps for six years living on the same starvation diet, in the same barracks as everyone else, without any physical or mental deterioration. How was it possible?

#1 In his own words he told the following story: "We lived in the Jewish section of Warsaw," he began slowly, the first words I had heard him speak about himself. "My wife, our two daughters, and our three little boys. When the Germans reached our street they lined everyone against a wall and opened up with machine guns. I begged to be allowed to die with my family, but because I spoke German they put me in a work group."

He paused, perhaps seeing again his wife and children. "I had to decide right then," he continued, "whether to let myself hate the soldiers who had done this. It was an easy decision, really. I was a lawyer. In my practice I had seen too often what hate could do to people's minds and bodies. Hate had just killed the six people who mattered most to me in the world. I decided then that I would spend the rest of my life, whether it was a few days or many years, loving every person I came in contact with." 

I don’t know very many people who have experienced this kind of heartache and tragedy and not let it destroy them. How is it that Joseph Smith and Wild Bill and many others can forgive these kinds of trespasses against them? I hope we can find the answers today.

Elder Bednar gave a wonderful talk at BYUI before he was Elder Bednar. He linked obedience, happiness, and blessings together. He explains blessed and happy as being interchangeable and happiness not just as an emotion or attitude, but a state of BEING. The relationship between blessings, happiness, and obedience is shown in

#2 Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21: There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings [and happiness] are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing [and happiness] from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

Living the commandments will take care of most of the possible adversity in our lives. But if we aren’t feeling the Spirit, who moved? If we aren’t happy, who’s responsible? So, how is it that we can be happy in spite of trials? And if we aren’t happy with our circumstances, where should we be looking? 

#3 Elder Scott said true, enduring happiness, with the accompanying strength, courage, and capacity to overcome the greatest difficulties, will come as you center your life in Jesus Christ. Obedience to His teachings provides a secure ascent in the journey of life. That takes effort. While there is no guarantee of overnight results, there is the assurance that, in the Lord's time, solutions will come, peace will prevail, and happiness will be yours.

We all know people who are tremendous examples of suffering gracefully without complaint and enduring. I know that our trials suit what we need for ourselves, but no one has ever lined my family up and shot them, I’ve never been tarred and feathered and I am not experiencing great health challenges or other similar trials. I have so much to be grateful and HAPPY for.

Back to our collisions of agency.  Each of us knows someone who has been offended and not come back to church. Or someone who in spite of all appearances of a good marriage, gets divorced. Or any other number of situations where it might be natural to attach blame to someone else.

#4 Elder Maxwell said, “In a church established among other reasons, for the perfecting of the Saints—an ongoing process—it is naïve to expect and certainly unfair to demand, perfection in our peers. A brief self-inventory is wise before we “cast the first stone.” Possessing a few rocks in our own heads, it is especially dangerous to have rocks too ready in our hands.”

I believe the only way to overcome and release our own sin in these relationships is through the Savior. I understand completely that people commit horrible acts against each other, so how can it be a sin on our part? The sin comes if we do not forgive and we rationalize why we shouldn’t have to. Why should Joseph Smith, or Wild Bill, or any other person who has been so treated have to forgive?

There is a wonderful story in the scriptures that illustrates this beautifully. Most of my thoughts have come from other sources while I studied. Please turn to 1 Sam 25. David and his band are hiding in the desert from Saul because he is jealous and wants to kill him. While he is in the wilderness, David has protected the sheep of a rich man named Nabal. He could have used the sheep for himself but did not and now the sheep have been taken for shearing and David has requested supplies from Nabal. Nabal refuses and David decides in his anger that he and his men are going to march to Carmel to kill Nabal and all of his men. Enter Abigail. One of the young men goes to Abigail and explains David’s care, Nabal’s refusal, and David’s plan. Abigail hastens to pack loaves of bread, wine, dressed sheep, corn, raisins, and figs. She loads them on donkeys and sends her servants before her and then goes herself to meet David. Read vs 23-28, 31, 32, 33, 35. Discuss.

What was Nabal’s sin?

What was David’s sin?

What was Abigail’s sin?

If we study the scriptures rather than read, we find types, and in this story we find a type of Christ. Who represents Christ? Who does Nabal represent? Anyone who has wronged us intentionally or not. Who does David represent?  Us, in our march to Carmel. (and our own justification at however we feel or act toward someone who has sinned against us). Is David justified in his anger toward Nabal? Yes? How? No? Why not? How does Abigail act as Christ for both Nabal and David? I find it instructive and something to ponder that Abigail means father of joy. And Nabal means fool.

Over the years, I have struggled with experiences where I felt I was innocent or someone hurt me, and I know that I am the one who has to forgive. Why do *I* have to forgive when I am the one who has been wronged? Sometimes when no forgiveness has been asked of me. The Lord said if we do not forgive, the greater sin is found in US. And that we have to forgive 70 x 7. What have I been missing all these years?

It boils down to the sin of others. I know Christ died for my sins, but I sometimes forget  that his atonement covers the sins of others. DUH! The sins of others AGAINST me. He stands in the place of the sinner, like Abigail stood in the place of Nabal and takes the sin upon himself. Of course He is sinless, but He comes rushing to our aid, He supplies our every need, He stands in the sinner's place and it is AS IF he says, "forgive ME", like Abigail. So we are standing on the other side saying to the person who has wronged us, ''you hurt me, I don’t want to forgive, I should not have to forgive, I didn’t do anything." And we choose to hold the grudge and not forgive. If Christ has already atoned for the sin of the guilty against us, who are we to hold the grudge? We must forgive in order for us to be forgiven in similar circumstances and for our own healing and benefit! The why finally gets answered for me. If I refuse to forgive and withhold my love from the person that Christ is standing in for, isn’t it rather like withholding our forgiveness and love from the Savior? Would I withhold my love or forgiveness from the Savior of the world? Not intentionally under any circumstances. Realizing I am flawed of course. So, when I act like a heel and refuse to soften my heart, it is as if I am hardening my heart toward HIM.

Elder Faust:

He suffered so much pain, “indescribable anguish,” and “overpowering torture” for our sake. His profound suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, where He took upon Himself all the sins of all other mortals, caused Him “to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit.”  “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly,”  saying, “O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.”

The Atonement not only benefits the sinner but also benefits those sinned against—that is, the victims. By forgiving “those who trespass against us” (JST, Matt. 6:13) the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort to those who have been innocently victimized by the sins of others. The basic source for the healing of the soul is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This is true whether it be from the pain of a personal tragedy or a terrible national calamity such as 9/11.

The injured should do what they can to work through their trials, and the Savior will “succor his people according to their infirmities.”  He will help us carry our burdens. Some injuries are so hurtful and deep that they cannot be healed without help from a higher power and hope for perfect justice and restitution in the next life. Since the Savior has suffered anything and everything that we could ever feel or experience,  He can help the weak to become stronger. He has personally experienced all of it. He understands our pain and will walk with us even in our darkest hours.

#5 Elder Scott said “the challenges you face, the growth experiences you encounter, are intended to be temporary scenes played out on the stage of a life of continuing peace and happiness. Sadness, heartache, and disappointment are events in life. It is not intended that they be the substance of life. I do not minimize how hard some of these events can be. When the lesson you are to learn is very important, trials can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining focus of everything you do. Your life can and should be wondrously rewarding. It is your understanding and application of the laws of God that will give your life glorious purpose as you ascend and conquer the difficulties of life. That perspective keeps challenges confined to their proper place—stepping-stones to further growth and attainment.”

Isaiah 53: 4 ¶ Surely he hath ^aborne our ^bgriefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

  5 But he was ^awounded for our ^btransgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his ^cstripes we are ^dhealed.

  6 All we like ^asheep have gone ^bastray; we have turned every one to his ^cown way; and the Lord hath laid on him the ^diniquity of us all.

Sisters, it is my hope that we will turn to our Savior in all of our adversity. I know he does bear our griefs, sorrows, and sins. And I know he stands ready as Abigail to hasten to our aid. He has taken care of the sins of others against us. And we can let go of our burdens and let Him bless us abundantly to overcome all. 

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