Tomorrow Isn't Promised

So, we just got home from watching the movie Collateral Beauty. I like Will Smith. I think he's an excellent actor, I like his personal philosophy, and he nailed this part. I debated whether to see it. Generally, I don't like going to movies with gratuitous language. Fortunately, it was minimal, but it was there. Warning, it has an f bomb. :-( The critics panned it. They didn't like the platitudes and said it was too much like a Hallmark movie. Apparently the "critics" have never had any personal tragedies. Maybe it didn't come to any real answers but I was swallowing hard and wiping away tears most of the movie. Because I've been Howard.

I realized tonight that if tragedy strikes in your life, you can relate to tragedy in anyone else's life. I've never lost a child, but my mother committed suicide. So, no, I don't know exactly what it's like to lose the future of promise and hope in someone you've given life to, but I know intimately what it's like to lose the future promise and hope in a relationship with someone you didn't have nailed down in the first place. No one in my life has ever been taken unexpectedly by accident or murder, but 2 people have been taken unexpectedly; my mother by suicide, and my grandfather by heart attack.

Both times, I was separated from my family and all alone. Maybe I identified too closely with  Howard, because I came home and bawled. Not something I normally do after watching a movie.

Love, Time, Death. Three things that connect us all. Howard says we all want love, need more time, and fear death. But this isn't really a move critique or a plug to go see it. The core point of the movie is tomorrow isn't promised. The biggest disappointments, grief, and sorrow in my life have come, when tomorrow was stolen. The proof for me was in my reaction to the movie tonight. It's 30 years later and at some level, I still feel like tomorrow was stolen. Because all of my tomorrows with my mother WERE. I've forgiven her for that.

The next biggest disappointment is watching others take tomorrow for granted. I do it too, but the real message of Collateral Beauty is LIVE TODAY.

Don't wait to take a trip.
Don't wait to have children.
Don't wait to go after something you really want.
Don't wait to be with your family.
Don't wait to use the good china.
Don't wait to mend a relationship.
Don't wait to live in THIS moment.
Don't wait to be present with those you love.
Don't wait till someone dies. 

Live and love today. Because tomorrow isn't promised. My sweet friend Shantel had 9 dear friends and family members die in three months time a few years ago. She talks about how they were afraid to answer the phone anymore. She knows too well that tomorrow isn't promised. That's why she teaches and preaches to others to live like you are dying. Really LIVE. There are too many among us who are already dead. Three years after Howard's daughter dies, he's not living. He's wishing he was dead and he's almost lost everything because his grief has overcome him.

It's interesting to me how very positive most of us are. We live like we can have everything tomorrow. It has to be some kind of survival trait. We take for granted that the thing we planned may not happen, or the people who we thought would be there WILL actually be there. Tomorrow isn't promised. We have to take advantage of todays. Present moments. 

After the movie, I realized I was dead for a year after my mom died. I went through the motions. I laughed now and then, but I barely remember anything. I woke back up after reading an article in the Ensign that I felt was written just for me. Then I finally started to heal. I finally started to wake back up and live. I got smacked right back down, because my grandfather died that next year, but someone came into my life to help me share the grief, and I got out of it a little quicker.

Tomorrow isn't promised. You can't wait to do the important things just because other things are taking your time. If it can be done, do it. The one thing the movie doesn't really address, is the solution. Death, Time, and Love and the messages they bring to Howard, finally get him to wake up, but real healing only comes through real meaning. I'm so grateful for faith, love, and hope. For atonement, and understanding, and redemption. These things can give us meaning. Unfortunately we only get to know that when we have to draw on them for our answers.

The problems in the movie aren't resolved at all, but in real life, you don't always get the solution quickly. It often takes years to sort through all the emotions, our beliefs, the application of them, and the getting down to living every day life. I'll continue to ponder this movie. I'm not sure I'll watch it again. Well, maybe when it comes out on DVD and I can wrap myself in a blanket when no one is home and watch it all by myself. Maybe then. Until then, I hope I remember every day, to live today, because tomorrow isn't promised.  But I'm grateful for eternity and a Savior who one day gives us back all our lost tomorrows.

If you like this post, please share or comment.