Ties that BIND

IAT = I am thankful

So thankful I can learn from my children.
I am thankful for their safety and health.
I am thankful for rental cars. 
I am thankful for body shops.
I am thankful for lessons learned.

This boy has set aside two years of his life. To go away from home, to spend time studying the words of God and Christ, and sharing them with others. Inviting them to try the word for themselves and see if it produces a change in them. I get to speak to him twice a year. And not that I'm counting but the next conversation is 35 days. Then on Mother's Day. Only next year, he'll be home for Mother's Day. HOORAY!!! Besides that, we get one email a week.

I let him know what's happening with us (and so much has changed for him when he returns, in our world) and he reports his successes, frustrations (rare), and what he has learned. This week he shared this. I know I should have asked permission, but it really got my head thinking, and I think if it helps someone, even if it's just me, he'll be happy I did.

"Over the past week I've been thinking of the hard things that I've been faced with in my life and how I've reacted to them. I think about before my mission and the challenges I faced and I realized that most of the hard things were things I brought on myself. And the reason why they were so hard is because I didn't turn it over to God for help. I tried doing things my way and on my own. So all the stress and guilt and anxiety I had was because I was letting myself be bound by that. And Satan sure loved it. he loves it when we are miserable and bound in sin. The only thing that will release us, is US choosing Christ. That is THE ONLY WAY."

It's a recurring theme in my personal studies of about the last 7 years. WE choose. We have the power. WE determine our circumstances. We can be bound by sin, or our choices, or our addictions, or our emotions, or our thoughts, or our habits, or, or, or. But in the end HE has given US the ability to choose. And sometimes it's very hard, but that is when we can turn to Him.

My faith is very personal. And as much as I'd love everyone to share it with me, I hold it close. I would not wish to offend or to invite unwanted criticism, but there is a scripture that came to mind from the Book of Mormon and another from the Pearl of Great Price.

• 2 Nephi 26:22

  22 And there are also secret combinations, even as in times of old, according to the combinations of the devil, for he is the founder of all these things; yea, the founder of murder, and works of darkness; yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever.

A flaxen cord is really not all that large or strong if tied around once. But when we allow ourselves to be taken in, the cord is wrapped round again. Each time is like another round wrapped. Until pretty soon, we no longer have the ability to break that cord. For change, we'll really need extra help. But, when we find ourselves bound by "strong cords," we have a tendency to dismiss the possibility of change or help. "I'm too far gone. I can't get back. I can never be forgiven." And that is exactly where Satan wants us.

• Moses 7:26

  26 And he beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced.
  

 he rejoices when any of us is lost to the knowledge of our real identity. Sons and daughters of God. Yes, we've all sinned and fallen short. But, the mercy and merits of Him who is might to save are there for us. Grace is omnipotent. BUT WE HAVE TO CHOOSE IT.

Which brings me to a little experience I had today right after I read and pondered over these words. Ok, I was IN the experience when I read them. Our vehicle was in a fender bender a few weeks ago. I finally got around to taking it in this morning. And then I went to pick up the rental car I reserved 3 days ago. Only it wasn't ready. It was getting the oil changed and they'd deliver it in an hour. Deep breath, mechanic took me to work. All is well. Until about an hour before I was finished. Hey, where's "my car?" I called and found out I would not get it until 1, 30 minutes AFTER I was off work, and the oil change was just a story. I was pretty upset. Can you FEEL my PAIN???

We had confirmed the day before it was available. I reserved it 3 days before. I know I said that already. I'm making my sad little stupid point. And they were messing with my day!!! I complained to the head company. I mean it really was a travesty. All first world problemy and all. And then I realized.

I am binding myself with my negative emotions....

Pause.

Really?

 

DUMB!

So, I decided to change in that moment. I wondered if I let go of the emotion, if the outcome would change. I realized in that moment, that the person bringing back the car at 1, COULD bring it earlier. (And before my change of heart I just KNEW they'd bring it at 1, and then it would have to be washed and vacuumed and refueled and it wouldn't be until 1:30) I realized my staying later at work could help someone else. I realized I was being a first class A1 fathead! So, I said a little repentant prayer and then I simply requested that if it was no big deal, I'd still get the car by 12:30 when I got off work. And that if it didn't work out, I'd happily stay put or come up with a new solution. I always have plenty to do at work. And then I went back to my tasks at hand.

About 15 minutes later I got a call from the gal who answered when I asked where my car was, earlier. She said the car had just been dropped of (12:20), that she would personally vacuum it herself and gas it up and get it to me in just a few minutes. My jaw dropped. I knew that would mean I'd have it shortly after 12:30. At the same time, one of my coworkers texted me and said she was running late and could I cover for just a few minutes. She arrived a little after 12:30 and about 5 minutes later, my car did too.

I felt very, VERY humbled. How important was my prayer? In the grand scheme of things, not very! But sometimes I think our prayers get answered simply to get our attention. I think my answer of a car delivered on time, albeit 4 hours late, was more to teach me, that I was throwing a first class fit, and my change of heart was much more important than the answer to my prayer.

I chose to change my heart. I'm thankful I realized it needed changing. I'm thinking it wasn't me that did that. I think it was the Spirit nudging me, and the pondering from the words of my missionary son. I hope I can remember to remain humble. To not sweat the small stuff. And to simply go with the flow. I was fortunate that I really did not have too much pressing going on today until after school when the insanity hour begins. And all is well that ended well.

I don't want to be bound by my choices. I want to be free.

If you like this post, please share or comment.