You Make Time for What's Important. Oh Yeah?

IAT = I am thankful

for the Sabbath.
for proving "sayings" wrong.
for success of friends.
for friends who care.
for re-dos.

So, I am one of those annoying glass is full people. It is. Even with 1/2 water, it's full to the top with air. Ha! So, I was taking this crazy Chemistry class that was keeping me hopping. A 5 week Summer class instead of 15 weeks. Note to self, NEVER. TAKE. A. 5. WEEK. CLASS. IF. YOU. HAVE. A. LIFE. EVER!

So for 4 weeks, I've been on a bipolar relationship with this class. I've spent 50-60 hours a week including 20 hours in class studying, eating, breathing Chemistry. Surprisingly, I was enjoying it. But I felt like I was skimming off the top of a great deep. And every now and then in class, a little lightbulb would turn on, and then bam! Plunged back into the darkness. My last test I am happy to say was an 89. This made me feel great! Unfortunately, I was toying for over a week with quitting (withdrawing) from the class.

This is what my experience with Chemistry kind of felt like.


Like I was shot out with some kind of crazy slingshot barely able to keep my concentration with brief glimpses of previously unknown awesomeness. But, like Jody Foster, in the chair, it was really wreaking havoc on life itself. I stopped cooking, exercising, and sometimes eating! What? Something is seriously wrong.The rest of the family was picking up my slack. My business was growing, I was getting busier, and we were getting closer and closer to a big out of the country trip and I had not a single minute to properly prepare for THAT.

I talked to my professor about my grand plan and how I needed certain classes in a certain order, and his reply was, "you shouldn't force things." Hmmm. And then less than a week later while being incredulous at a classmate who is a husband, father, nurse, student, and MARATHON TRAINER. "WHEN do you have time to train for that?" 5 am, was the reply. I told him I had to drop exercise, and then his reply appealed to my cranky nature even though I knew there was a spark of truth in it. "You make time for what is important." There of course, is much truth to that. There is also truth to the fact, that we are not to run faster than we have strength. And you can literally have so much going in your life that you CANNOT possibly do it all and there needs to be prioritizing.

I went home Friday with one week left. The rest of the class has 1 week left to finish 4-5 chapters of homework that take hours each. THREE tests, one a final. And finish labs and lab notebook. Only *I* had to have it all done by Wed because we are leaving the country on Thursday. And I just felt the anxiety building. There was physically no way to meet all the demands upon me. I could either do Chemistry and let everything else slide, and truly I was not sure I would have time to pack. (We had to go to Mesa for 24 hours for my Project Centrl graduation and shopping for our trip, so there went that study time). Or, I could quit Chemistry, have peace of mind and get everything done for our trip.

Centrl Graduation with Secretary of State Ken Bennett

I said to a friend, "Truthfully, I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into, and then it was kind of like quicksand, I was stuck. If I had only known what it would take for me, and taken a breath and let go of my preconceived timelines for myself. I would have quit early and taken it in the Fall." And as soon as it was out of my head (email) I realized what I needed to do. Let go of my preconceived timelines, quit while I could and take it in the Fall. I went to one more day of class, came home and cried at my "quitter" status and "failure." And then I sucked it up, wrote my teacher an email, and decided to move one.

I've been thinking about that whole quitter thing, and I think it needs a post. Later. Maybe after Israel.

The rest of the story. By quitting, I chose what REALLY WAS important. A few great days with my kids, getting everything handled and taken care of before I go (including a wedding invitation list that has been sitting neglected for weeks), feeling PEACE instead of CHAOS. I told my hubby I felt like a crazy woman with ratted out hair, a boot on one hand, mismatched socks, and muddy shorts, running helter skelter for Israel. That is NOT how I want to enter the Holy Land. At the same time looking back wondering what was left undone, worrying about my children, and all the things I likely would have forgotten. I want to go walking confidently knowing I don't have to worry about a thing and that it is all covered. Whew! I feel so much better.

Tomorrow, I am going to get my hair done and get all my business in order. Tuesday I will do final shopping and arrangements for my children, and lots of cleaning. Wed we will do final packing and go to Mesa. Wed night pick up Jefferson. Thursday  morning airport. Here we come. With a smile on our faces. :-) It's not really quitting anyway, just delaying.

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