Christmas Again--2016

I honestly don't know how it happens so fast. When I was small, it seemed like it took forever for Christmas to come around. Since, I have shrunk my actual mailing of Christmas cards significantly. Here are highlights for my digital friends.

Liam's baby blessing. I asked myself WHERE IS BRET? He had to go back to his meetings at church.

Emily's Disney trip

We got ALMOST everyone in these 2 pictures. Less Joseph and Mallory. That's because we did not take one entire group photo this year, except at Olivia's birthday party and it was not a great one.

 We'll start with the oldest AT HOME.

Emily. Emily graduated from high school this year, got a scholarship to the local college, earned a trip to Disneyland by helping her team win state basketball, started college, and turned 19. She was so much fun to follow around last year, and now even though she still lives with us, she's making new adventures.

 the only senior, accepting the trophy for her team

Noah. Noah has been home schooling this year. He will be entering an online charter school starting January. In hopes to return to school his senior year. We'll see. He started a dual credit Graphic Arts degree at our local Jr College and is learning some really cool stuff. He's going to be looking for a job. He loves his friends. He played tennis this year and he turnred 16! Driving. He's one tall drink of water and it's tough finding him skinny jeans. I don't mean the skinny style either.

Olivia. Well, she's a teen now too. 13. She is finishing 8th grade at home and we are deciding on whether she will stay home for high school or go back to school. To be continued. She's a pretty delightful girl. She is beginning to earn money from her artwork and we can now say she is internationally recognized, as one of her paintings hangs in a home in Kenya. :-) We love watching her talent grow. She says she wants to paint the murals in the temples. She's currently practicing with club volleyball to see how she likes it. She's really helpful in the kitchen and always has a smile to share.

Jefferson. (Elder Norton). The excitement is growing in our house. We're just rounding down and saying he'll be home in 4 months. He'll return the first of May. We get to talk to him tomorrow. He's currently serving in Lawton and really loves working with the soldiers on Ft Sill. Lots of similarities to his older brother Chris' mission. He has learned to be happy in any situation. He loves his mission.

AnDREW and Liz. Drew is doing well in insurance and is his ward mission leader. Elizabeth is a stay at home mom, serves in YW, had her second sweet baby this year (Liam Howard), and just started as a fashion consultant for Junie Blake. You can see her modest dresses here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ShopJUNIEblakewithLiz/ Charity is a growing, BUSY nearly three year old. And little Liam is almost 5 months. We love being grandparents.

Chris and Anica. Chris has had a good year with Solar City. Anica graduated with her Master's Degree in Business from ASU. She is now working for a social media marketing company as an Executive Assistant. They just moved to a new apartment. They've been blessed to take some wonderful trips this year. An extended one to Europe, Hawaii, and other short ones.


With Ruby.

 In Greece

 Because I love the look on his face!

Joseph and Mallory. These two are living in the freeze zone in Idaho attending BYU. I was able to go up briefly and visit earlier this year and spend some time with one of my old besties too. They both work lots of hours and go to school too. We enjoyed having them visit in August. It's going to be so long waiting for them to finish and not having them nearby. Joseph is studying Clothing Construction and Design. Mallory is in business.

 Why yes he has made his own gun.

Then there's just us doing our own thing. He doesn't like me to say it, but Bret is dad and husband extraordinaire. Not because he earns a ton of money, or has taken me to exotic places, but because he lives his life in such a way that the ordinariness of life becomes wonderful. He's the George Bailey in this little part of the world. He's midway through his 28th year teaching seminary and institute. His students love him. It's a blessing to run into former ones like earlier today. We'd LOVE to figure out how to retire him in 2-3 years. That's the goal. He made an awesome work bench for his shop this year. He serves as first counselor in the bishopric. He serves me and his family unfailingly. Anything we need, he tries his best to make it happen. We love having him PRESENT in our lives. I'm a blessed and happy woman. No, he's not perfect. :-)

Colorado trip with my cousin. (our family and hers)

A beautiful COOL getaway.

I've had two really wonderful years with real estate. Late last year I changed companies. It's been a good change for me. I started this business to support our missionaries, but along the way I've studied the things I really love. The culmination of those years of interest in coaching, nutrition, self help, positive psychology, mind body medicine, etc is now coming together for me. Next year I will be studying with the Functional Nutrition Coaching Academy. It teaches how to do all of those very same things I've been interested, so that I can work with Functional Nutrition doctors coaching their clients. It's a year long program, but by Summer's end, I'll have my first clients. By the end of next year, I'll bid real estate a fond farewell. It's been a great blessing to us. And I love working with people. 

In June I was released from Gospel Doctrine and was called to be the YW Pres. I am where I am today because of wonderful friends and leaders in YW. It's humbling to have the responsibility. My only desire is to bless these girls and please the Lord. I hope I can. I LOVE doing family history research. I've become a bit of a home body because daily life is so hectic. I love the peace at home.

My greatest blessings are my family, our home, the gospel of Jesus Christ, our freedom, and our friends. I have goals and dreams, but it's interesting times we live in.  We wish you a Merry Christmas. If you are reading this, we are grateful you are in our lives. 

Light YOUR World

Because of some personal experiences I have been having, I was pondering the Good Samaritan a few days ago. I read an article that completely changed the way I think about it. We have a tendency to focus on the question the attorney asked, "Who is my neighbor?", but there is a greater question asked at the end by Jesus Himself.

"Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?"

Is this story about the man who fell among thieves or about who his neighbor was. Is it about WHO we serve, or who WE are? Are we a "priest" who crosses to the other side of the road because we don't have enough time or we don't want to dirty ourselves? Are we a Levite who is better than doing that kind of work? Or are we a Good Samaritan? Maybe WE are someone most wouldn't want help from, but we're willing to help, whenever, where ever. The Lord's statement to "go and do thou likewise" can have much significance for us if we'll search our hearts.

I don't want to embarrass the someone I love who sent me this story, but it touched me deeply. A story of an unlikely Good Samaritan.

 

Had a little experience that I wanted to share real quick before I forget and I'm not feeling the prompting anymore. Just a few minutes ago I was driving from the gym to walmart to pick up a couple things. I took a back road that is less busy from the usual traffic, especially now that it's Christmas time the roads are busier then ever. 

Anyway, as I was driving down the road about 100 yards ahead of me I saw a well dressed older gentleman looking both ways about to cross the street. I wasn't speeding but I was moving pretty quick because I was one of the only cars on this particular road. I saw the gentleman look my way, and could tell his mind was quickly debating if he could make it across before I came speeding by. I could almost see a boost of confidence in his step when he made the decision to take off across the road. 

Unfortunately his mind believed he still had more speed then he actually did because when he stepped off the curb and into the street he almost stumbled from the step trying to move forward quickly across the street. Now I saw this from the beginning...so I was already prepared to slow down, but this gentleman didn't know if I saw him or not and if I was on my way to deliver him to the end of his road. You could see he was trying to lift his arm to alert me to stop because he knew he wasn't going to make it across and that there was no turning back. 

Now all of this happened in a quick couple seconds, but before I could reach my foot for the brake, a younger athletic man bolted out into the street out of nowhere. He was poorly dressed and you could tell he had little money wearing a jacket with holes all throughout. He threw his arm around the older gentleman and put his hand out towards me to stop. As I slowed to a stop 10-15 yards away, this younger man helped carry the older gentleman across the road. He didn't rush him, he was in no hurry, he just gave the older gentleman a shoulder and used his weight to help lift the man so he could regain his step and walk across the road. 

Once they crossed, the younger gentleman gave the older man a side hug letting him know he was safe, and then turned the other way and went back to wherever he came from and the older gentleman carried on his way. 

This probably sounds...cliche, a younger person helping the elderly across the road...but in the moment all I could picture was the Savior. There we are, thinking we're strong and confident in life, about to cross a road or decision. We've hurdled ourselves out there thinking we can make it and the next thing you know we have a speeding truck, trial or bump in the road coming at us with no way to avoid catastrophe. 

Just when it seems all is lost, here comes our perfect Savior, who jumps out in the street to our rescue, putting his arm around us assuring us we are safe, while reaching out his hand commanding the trial or problem to "be still." Once we're back to safety He allows us to continue on reminding us that He is always there to watch over and protect us, to calm the storms we face. 

I could not resist the urge to share this little experience that was a reminder to me to always remember the Savior. He's always there for us. He lives. In this time of season I invite you to look for Christ like examples, and look for opportunities to serve the way the Lord did. Thank you for listening to my little testimony. I hope everyone has a good day. 

Then, someone else I love responded with this perfect video. There's a #LightTheWorld campaign going on the next 25 days. How will you LIGHT YOUR WORLD? This is beautiful.

IAT = I am thankful

 FOR JUST ALL OF IT.

Soothing the Soul

IAT = I am thankful

Since today is all about gratitude, the IAT will be the entire post. :-)

Thirty years ago today, a terrible tragedy happened. Like it does in many lives somewhere on the planet every day. But it happened, in my life that day. I received the news that my mother, after several heartbreaks in her life, a big health challenge, loss of a loving relationship, and a bout of depression, took her life. You can use the search box if you want to find the whole story. I don't even feel like linking today.

I believe that regrets must be what fans the flames of hell. Even for those who are evil and may find themselves suffering from those choices, even evil, is really bound up in regret. At least eventually. But gratitude, as I often write about, really is soothing to the soul. If you get lost in regrets, or sin, or dreams unfulfilled (still regret), you can be restored and hopeful through the blessing of gratitude.

So, since it's been 30 years and I refuse to stay in regret or the past, I choose to focus on 30 beautiful things to be grateful for.

1. Faith in Jesus Christ that saves me over and over and over.
2. That I had a beautiful mother briefly who thought my life was worth bringing forward.

3. That I had a dad who did the best he could all things considered.
4. That I had other family members who loved me as a child.
5. Brothers.
6. Friends, who taught me and led me and still do.
7. A church that has helped to make me what I am.
8. My friend's families who took me in often and showed me the hope of what a family could be.
9. Young Women leaders who really cared. I would not be where I am today without Young Women's, Youth Conferences, and Girl's Camp.
10. TREMENDOUS college friends who influenced me for good and helped me step up.
11. A BFF who still is today, who I can still count on. Sometimes we don't talk for long periods, but I know I can call her and we can talk about ANYTHING. OKYAY??? (Only she will get that, haha).
12. This is really number 2. That husband. Not enough could be said about his amazingness. Today, even though he got up and left the house long before I did, he arranged this for me.

 

 13-20. The wonderful people who allowed me to experience motherhood. Can't say enough about them either. 

 

14-16. The current girls who have come into our family. Beautiful, wonderful wives and mothers.

15-17. This should really be in the top 5. GRANDBABIES! Full of energy, hilariousness, and love.

18. A wonderful family that I married into. Including Father and mother-in-law. Bret's siblings and their wives. Lots of nieces and nephews. Yes. LIFE IS ABOUT FAMILY. This is ours.

19. Health. It can't be replaced. 

20. My personal gifts and talents that I am still discovering and the trust given to me that I will use them to bless others. 

21. The beauty of the earth. From sunsets to fireflies and hummingbirds and fields of cotton, and...

22. This is the appropriate spot for music because it combines the previous one with one of my favorite songs. (Since I sang it in high school). (Combines my gratitude with all of it, :-)

23. FOOD of all kinds, but I really get jazzed by healthy food that keeps me healthy. Especially the dessert kind! 

 

24. Oxygen. Um hello!

25. 8 acres all to ourselves. I may not love my house, but I love this spot. 

26. My faith in Jesus Christ kind of includes all things churchy, but how I love the scriptures, and resources, and information at my fingertips, to learn more, grow more, and love more.

27. Forgiveness. Giving it and receiving it. So cleansing!

28. Travel! US, Mexico, Canada, Russia, Ukraine, Israel. And so many places I hope to go! But I'd go back to Galilee any day. 

 

29. I just have to mention sunsets, since they made it twice in the pictures. My daddy got me loving sunsets. Sitting on the porch and chatting. I think I really need to start doing that with the few I have left. How could I have left that out??? See? Regret. Right there.

30. That I still have life and breath in me. That I can learn and love and create any future I want to. What a blessing it is. And I KNOW some day, my mother and I will embrace again. And all tears will be washed away. I have a LOT of favorite verses, but this has to be #1.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

The latest talk I am studying about gratitude:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng

HOW Burdens are Lifted

IAT = I am thankful

for an invitation
for study time
for listening ears
for kind friends
for a loving Savior

In the midst of a very busy week, I got a phone call from the teacher man. He said he was speaking at devotional this week and would I speak with him? I think I said yes before I asked the topic. It's a topic I love to learn about but usually feel woefully inadequate to convey how I really feel about it. The Atonement; which if you read through my blog, you'll see I've spoken and written of this subject often. In lessons, Stake Conference, ward talks, and just my own personal pondering. But this time, there was a new angle. My husband wanted to introduce me and some of the trials I've faced and then he wanted me to talk about HOW the atonement helped me get through all of it. Against my better judgment and the pressures of the week, mostly because he asked me, I love him, and I don't want him to be disappointed, I said yes. (Because I love him. See? It's circular)

I hung up the phone with the question hanging in the air. HOW does/did the atonement help me with my burdens? My first answer was, "I don't know! It just does." I'm not sure I've ever asked THAT particular question. The one I usually ask myself is WHY? With everything I've been through, WHY did I make it to where I am? How is it that many other people have been through similar things, and it's broken them? What made the difference for me? Why did I make the choices I did leading me to where I am? I just don't know. I do know, I'm eternally grateful for whatever it is I was given, that gave me the strength to do it.

Sometimes, when people do hear where I started, after they get over the shock that I did not grow up in a formerly "typical" LDS home, I get the awe. It's always a little uncomfortable inside to me. Because I don't tell it and I certainly didn't experience it to be held in awe. I understand it of course, on one level, because there are people I have felt that way about. It was in the middle of the writing of the talk though, that I realized how to feel about others and how I want others to feel about me when they hear my story. Look for this line in my talk.

Don’t be impressed with ME. Be impressed with the gifts of the atonement.

 I suppose that's what I'm really in awe of.

I began writing my talk. I think I read 100 talks to prepare. Ok, exaggerating is a strength of mine too. I will list all the talks I can remember that I read at the end of this blog post and put my talk over on the talk page, so this post won't be so long. Anyway, I began writing on Sunday. I stayed up very late, but wasn't quite finished. I knew when I went to bed it was the wrong talk. I was a little devastated because, I was starting into another busy week. I was exhausted and wasn't sure how I'd go about writing another, 24 hours before I would give it. So, I called hubby at work with my dilemma. He said, "I can give a talk with scriptures and quotes! I need you to talk to them like it's just you and them, sitting together like you would with your friend, and speak to them from the heart." So, I sat down and poured it out on paper. I am not really sure I answered the HOW question, but maybe I did.

It’s through the enabling power of the atonement that we can develop Christlike attributes.

That's HOW. We suffer as He did, and we gain a little understanding of Him. We become a little more like him. It strengthens us, if we let it, to go on. Then it starts again. It enables us to walk after Him.

So, teacher man began with a brief introduction of my story. A family. A beginning. A horrible going wrong of things. Divorce. Abuse. Kidnapping. Abuse, the loss of my mother. I don't focus on the details. I don't think it accomplishes anything. Then I stand to tell my story. I'm not a great speaker. I'm a decent teacher when I know the subject and I let go. Speaking, however, still requires me to rely on my written word. So, I am sure the presentation was average, but I hope those who were listening with their hearts felt what I intended. I had prayed fervently that those who needed to be there who COULD be touched and might need a lift, would be there. So, that's the story. You can read the talk here.   

Here are some of the talks I read to prepare. I think my favorite is Elder Bednar's That We Might Not Shrink.

That We Might Not Shrink
None Were With Him
Broken Things to Mend
In the Strength of the Lord
Apply the Atoning Blood of Christ
The Atonement Our Greatest Hope
Personal Strength Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ 
Is Faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ Written in Our Hearts?
Believing Christ A Practical Approach
And see the book, The Infinite Atonement, by Tad R Calister. LIFE CHANGING.

And I reread my thoughts on Abigail, which you can find by searching Abigail in the search box.

Del Norte, Colorado Branch

IAT = I am thankful

So a few weeks ago when we were in Colorado for Labor Day, we decided to go to Sacrament meeting in Del Norte, Co.. I specifically remember walking in the doors of this little building thinking, I'm grateful to have a place wherever I am to drop my burdens and leave them behind.

Such a neat little branch. It was the first Sunday of the month so it was fast and testimony day. The meeting started with a hymn and both the Teacher Man and I noticed the enthusiasm of the chorister. She brought joy to the congregation as she led the hymn. It was the most awesome chorister I've ever seen and we both felt compelled to talk to her after. My teacher man doesn't usually feel compelled to do things like that because he's so private. THAT'S how enthusiastic she was! She had joy on her face and she was leading with vigor and you could just tell she HAD A TESTIMONY of what we were singing. AWESOME!!!

The bishop got up and shared his testimony about a newly returned missionary in their home and a wedding. There were testimonies about the youth temple trip. I was impressed that MOSTLY adults got up and shared because a lot of times all the little children are setting the example. It was a wonderful meeting in that little branch and it gave me great comfort to know that like minded people are meeting every week around the world in service, and joy, and testimony, and strength. I love it!

There were men blessing the sacrament and it may have been the most meaningful I've ever heard the prayers given. It truly touched my heart! I felt so grateful for the sacrament and what it means.

I'm so glad we went. We try if there is a church anywhere near to go at least to Sacrament meeting. I've finally reached the point in my life where I truly realize the value of partaking of the sacrament. I want to be cleansed and sanctified each week, even if it's just a little branch in Del Norte, Co.

We also had a wonderful devotional back home with our P---ston family. We discussed the meaning of John 7: 38. "He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water." What a blessing it is to have access to living water through our belief on Him!

Complete Trust

IAT = I am thankful

family, getaways, cousins, new adventures, cool weather

 

Preparedness has become a theme in my life the last 18 months. I've been in a process. It's more than having 72 hour kits or emergency supplies. It's a constant inventory of where I am, where I should be, where I want to be, and where I am going. Physical inventories have become much less important than internal inventories. So, I have tried to ask good questions, listen, and act on what I hear. I won't share what that personal journey looks like in this post because I think I have mentioned pieces of it in other posts. If not, oh well. I know my journey and the steps I have been taking. :-) You are able to seek and find a similar journey that is personal to just you. That's the really cool think about Divine Inspiration.

I was thinking last week about where I am in my journey and where I am going and how it aligns with my goals. The question came to mind, what more should I do? Is there anything else needed in my preparing? So I prayed about it. I had a kind of what lack I yet moment? The beauty of that is, even though the rich young man was told to sell all he had, that doesn't mean all of us need to do that. That was a custom answer for a custom question. Anyone who asks the question can get a custom answer. See the excellent talk by Elder Lawrence. 

So for a few days in a row, I was praying what else I needed to be prepared for anything that comes, whether it's the unexpected blows life can deliver or the eventual return of the King of Heaven and Earth. Then I went to the temple. I noticed the word prepare. Something I'd heard dozens of times but never stood out before. It occurred to me, Anyone who has such a Wondrous Plan prepared for us is most definitely the King of preparedness. That was my thought. "God is the King of preparedness." As that thought turned around in my head, another thought came. It felt like the Spirit to me and it was in the form of a question.

"What if you had nothing?"What? "What if you lost everything, what if you have nothing?" What came naturally out of me was, well if I have nothing I still have YOU. THAT was a great comfort! Job was certainly faced with that circumstance. I HOPE I am not. I kept thinking about it though.

Since I finished reading the Book of Mormon this week, the theme that seems to have been there for me throughout this time, was there even at the end. I realized as I began reading and I was still the Gospel Doctrine teacher, that there was a theme of preparedness in the Book of Mormon. I wrote about it here, but the gist of it is that God will always provide a way for us and prepare a way for us ahead of our need. We only need to follow Him and keep His commandments.

Friday we were driving to Colorado for the weekend, and I shared my experience with the Teacher Man. He brought up the calming of the wind and waves in Mark 4, which led to an interesting discussion. Without telling the story, we discussed several points. Some of those disciples with him (probably his apostles, the twelve), were seasoned fishermen. They knew storms and danger and being on the waters. The waves filled the boat and they were concerned they might perish. When they woke Jesus and shared their concerns with him, His response was interesting. Why are you afraid? Why don't you have faith?

These disciples had what they likely considered EVIDENCE; a storm, raging winds, a boat filled with water, and yet, humanly, they feared. But Christ knew that there was nothing to fear and their faith should be placed in Him. 

What a lesson for me that went right along with what I was pondering. I may have storms raging around me, winds blowing, a boat filling with water, EVIDENCE that I am sinking. What should my response be? I think I am to understand that just because I have evidence, it doesn't mean it is true in the sense that I am perishing or that He doesn't care that I THINK I am perishing. I think it means I can absolutely trust in Him in any circumstance and have faith in Him, that He is there for me, that He has already provided for me and that a way has been prepared. If I keep His commandments, and I live faithful in every situation, He will give me all the blessings He has promised.

If I ultimately face the end of my days on Earth,  as the disciples feared before Jesus calmed the storm and their hearts, my hope is that I WILL BE so centered in Christ and so trusting of my Father and His greatest plan, that I can go confidently home to Him and rest in His promises. 

Because, He can do this:

I can live so to receive it.  Being calm and trusting my all to His tender care, that is my fondest hope. 

You Have 60 Days To Live

IAT = I am thankful

for support of others, to find the greatness in young people, for good training, for great church lessons, to partake of the sacrament.

Recently, a friend was diagnosed with melanoma. She had to have an extensive and invasive biopsy to determine whether it was localized or had spread. I can only imagine what was going through her mind as she played the waiting game, to find out what her future would become. Fortunately, she was given good news even though she is still recovering from surgery. But I do personally know people who have been given the Doctor death sentence.

I abhor the DDS, stated as clearly and emphatically as my blog title, because NO ONE really knows when their appointed time is up until it is. Doctors can be wrong. There are such things as false positives, obedient patients often die at a suggestion, and nobody is God, but God. There are still such things as miracles. I'd PREFER that doctors be a little more general when they have to give a patient bad news.

In testimony meeting a few weeks ago, an elderly gentleman expressed the sentiment that he felt so strongly he should get up and bear his testimony because he was old enough that he was not sure if it would be his last.

I thought about that. Then I wondered if every one of us should not live as if it might be our last. After all, I could be in a terrible accident at any time and be gone. Or I could be given the dreaded DDS. Fortunately, I have not. But, what if I were? What would suddenly become important to me? What would be the final thoughts I would want my family to know? Regrets?

For my unmarried children, I would want them to know that their choice of a spouse is THE MOST IMPORTANT choice they can make. It's worth being patient in the choice, it's worth THINKING about, and if you choose poorly, BOY are there consequences. The very best choices can still be a difficult experience at times, so if you don't choose wisely, it's just going to be really difficult. I survived three divorce experiences as a child. I did NOT want that for myself.

I was once accused by a bishop of having a perfect conscience. Combine that with perfectionism, and life can get a little crazy, especially up in the dome piece as my boys like to call it. I want to know what is the RIGHT way to do things. And once I know what the RIGHT way is, then I have to do it that way. Once I am doing the RIGHT thing, I have to force myself not to look around and judge everyone else for the way they are doing it. This used to be a serious weakness. I was RIGHT dangit, and everyone else could just go fly a kite. Peasants! Fortunately maturity helps you realize that you can be right and not judge others, or more than one way can be right.

So once we were married I wanted to find out when was the right time to have children, how many should we have, what about birth control? Well, hey, there was no GOOGLE back in our day. So, I used the handy dandy reference set I stole from my dad when I permanently moved out. There were several titles including Jesus The Christ, Articles of Faith, Gospel Doctrine, Miracle of Forgiveness, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Discourses of Brigham Young, Doctrines of Salvation 1, 2, 3. And maybe one or two I've since forgotten. So we made decisions based on quotes like this:

President Joseph F. Smith

“Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligations with respect to motherhood, and they are obligations that cannot be disregarded without invoking divine displeasure. In 1 Timothy 2:13–15, we are told that ‘Adam was first formed, then Eve. …’ Can she be saved without child-bearing? She indeed takes an awful risk if she wilfully disregards what is a pronounced requirement of God” (Gospel Doctrine, 288–89).

President David O. McKay

“Love realizes his sweetest happiness and his most divine consummation in the home where the coming of children is not restricted, where they are made most welcome, and where the duties of parenthood are accepted as a co-partnership with the eternal Creator.

President Spencer W. Kimball

“… You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits. … And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work” (“John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, June 1975, 8).

Elder Ezra Taft Benson

“The first commandment given to man was to multiply and replenish the earth with children. That commandment has never been altered, modified, or cancelled. The Lord did not say to multiply and replenish the earth if it is convenient, or if you are wealthy, or after you have gotten your schooling, or when there is peace on earth, or until you have four children. The Bible says, ‘Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: … Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. …’ (Ps. 127:3, 5.) We believe God is glorified by having numerous children and a program of perfection for them. So also will God glorify that husband and wife who have a large posterity and who have tried to raise them up in righteousness” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1969, 12).

And so we did. Or didn't as the case may be, because...that was right. I was scared not to do what was right for fear of falling under condemnation. Plus, once we started our family, I was so in love with my babies that I was addicted to having more I think! I had a desire for children. :-) I MISS THOSE BABIES! What I learned after all those years, and recently nearly ten years of being a working mother, is that THERE IS NO GREATER PURPOSE IN LIFE! NONE, that compares to having children and creating a family. There IS NO GREATER joy than the joy children bring. (Nor heartache, sorrow, suffering, grief, worry, stress, etc). But the joy is the paycheck that makes it all worth it. I am SO GLAD we did not put off having our children, because I know now looking back, that could have been a huge regret.

Though the message is the same today in the church, it seems to be delivered a little more softly leaving decisions and accountability up to the listener. This was from President Packer's last talk in General Conference.

"The commandment to multiply and replenish the earth has never been rescinded. It is essential to the plan of redemption and is the source of human happiness. Through the righteous exercise of this power, we may come close to our Father in Heaven and experience a fulness of joy...The power of procreation is not an incidental part of the plan; it is the plan of happiness; it is the key to happiness."

My biggest regret is having been a working mother at all. Even though I tried to choose an occupation that would allow me some control over my time, I also chose an occupation that sometimes I have zero control over my time. Oh the irony! My greatest regret is that I missed out on some important connections with some of my children. You cannot change or erase that. The decision to work has to be made carefully for a mom and ways to make up for it should be thought about too. Sigh.

Even though it should probably be God and Family, there is the Family part. What remains is the God part and the Life part. I learned nearly completely on my own, OK my Heavenly Father played a pretty big part there, to make my own good choices. That perfect conscience was a gift from early on, because I wanted to do the right thing. Even though my childhood circumstances were far from ideal. Even though there was drama, trauma, and heartache. There were happy times too. But the people around me were not providing the example I needed, so my church life really shaped me. I'm eternally indebted to wonderful teachers, leaders, and friends!

I have learned particularly over the last few years, that any gospel study you do, only puts you ahead down the road. Keeping your covenants brings greater spiritual power than anything. When you take a step toward God, he runs ten steps toward you. I've become completely intent on never missing the sacrament. As I have studied it more, it has become so meaningful. I cannot be clean without it and I want to be clean, so that if I do get hit by a Mack truck suddenly, I am ready to look into the face of my Savior. Repenting every day brings joy. Praying every day brings peace. I've learned that God knows ME, little Dawn-Marie in Central Arizona. He knows and loves me. Incredible!

I love fasting and going to the temple. Often. All of these things together have brought me more peace than anything else. I had no idea how meeting all of those requirements would make life easier, more bearable, more joyful and happy. I didn't know how ignorant I was until I made these regular practices.

And what of life in general? Build, Dream, Believe, Love, Sing and laugh.



Life is life. We have to work. We can't just say, I'm living in a bubble and having fun, but we can also choose to find and make meaning in every day. I think I could do better at that. I hope I can and will do better at that. That is one of my goal's for this year. I hope I'll have help in it.

Finally, I have this weird thing with funerals. Unless they are outright tragic events, I like them. I am always given so much to ponder. Is my life worthy of praise? Would anyone show up to my funeral? Would they miss me? Would they feel as if my life on earth was a blessing to them? Would my family be grateful for my sacrifices in their behalf? I'm not the one that gets to answer those questions. I hope I will live my life such that, whether I have 60 days or more than 6000, that there will be meaning, purpose, joy, fun, and satisfaction.