If you remember typewriters, remember the sound of the paper going between the rollers as the gears go round n round n round? Fingers to the keys, I begin to type. "I am a writer." My fingers pause. "I write." Pause.
If I was really using a typewriter, I'd rip the paper zipping past the rollers right now. The paper would be crumpled and added to the pile forming behind me. I'm not a writer. Well, I mean I have to be a writer, because I have the affirmation up on my bathroom mirror with other secret affirmations that I am not about to reveal. The only way a general friend would see my affirmations is if I put them here, or I'm lying sick in bed, unable to lift my head and someone gets the bright idea to come and clean my bathroom. And my husband LETS them???!!!
However, I have been writing a blog for (let me check the dates)...ERMERGERSH, it will be ten years in September! How exciting! Let me take a moment to relish in this moment.
I'm a writer? Maybe. Hmmm. Let's add up the evidence. I HAVE been published. In newsletters. And in an actual book! I found out accidentally when I did a google search of myself. It's a book on EFT that one of my submissions make it into. I can't remember the title, but it was a fun discovery. I've also been invited to write in other books that didn't end up published.
My good husband tells me nearly every time I write a post that my writing is good. Does that count? Maybe, but we'd have to evaluate his tastes in writing and what genres he reads, etc. I have 7 followers and sometimes they tell me they like what I write. Seven! I'm not a writer.
What does it take to be a writer? Hmmm. Some of my posts have hundreds of views. Does that make me a writer? I've had book ideas for years and even started on some of them and now I belong to a writer's group. Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere!
Each month, when I don't have fourteen other things going on, I go the the writer's group and we share something we've written and make a new goal for the next month. I've shared blog posts from my blog that I imagine I will recycle into chapters in my first book. You can imagine how intimidating it must be to go as a newbie to a meeting of REAL writers who have actually published books, making them AUTHORS! It's like that moment from Oliver Twist before he actually says the words, but holds up his poor little bowl to beg for more, wondering all the while if he is worthy enough for the meager scraps returned to him.
No, I'm in a group of fantasy, science fiction, and romance novelists. PUBLISHED. Remember? I said they are published. I'm the only non-fictioner in the group. But they give me warm sincere compliments. They encourage me. They keep inviting me back so....I write. There was this one meeting that I ACTUALLY did write a new chapter...I write!
Maybe the definition of a writer is someone who writes, so that when their words are read, the reader is moved; changed; better. Can I just make up definitions? I really don't know. I like my writing. Maybe if others like my writing that aren't family and friends, and I like my writing, I'm a writer.
I know sometimes when I am bored, I return to my blog, skip around a little, see a title that intrigues me, and I begin to read. A couple of weeks ago, it was a 3 part post. I've only written one 3 part post. I was emotional. It was an election year. It was politics. Haha. When I finished reading that 3 part post, I sat back and thought, "WOW, that was really good. I don't even remember writing that."
I write because it teaches me. Usually, I have an idea. I just WANT to write, so I get on here and I start pounding it out. The amazing thing that happens is, when my fingers hit the keys, ideas being flowing and pouring through my fingers. I see them appear on the screen. Sometimes, there's an idea on the edge of my brain, not yet fully expressed. So, I look through a dictionary, scriptures, a talk, a video, and then the idea seems to solidify more, and get on the page.
Then I read. And edit. Read. Edit. Until I'm tired or it feels just right, and I press the publish button. Usually (not sure it will be the case this time, but I've always said this is only really for my own benefit of getting my thoughts down), I feel satisfied. So maybe that's a part of it.
I write. My husband likes it. I get my ideas on "paper." I feel satisfied. I share. My friends like it. Random hundreds read it. They don't respond, but they read. Months or years later, I read again. Sometimes I am moved to tears. Sometimes I think, "dang! that was good!" I am satisfied. I feel good. I write.
I guess that means....I'm a writer.
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