Your business, My business, and HIS business

This week, I had what I thought at the moment, was an unpleasant experience. Someone I love treated me in a way I did not want to be treated. That person disapproved of something I did and didn't do and freely expressed his anger and judgment about it. And I did not exactly respond in kindness, but did attempt to defend myself. For a few hours, I was incensed and outraged! Couldn't he see my heart? Didn't he know my good intentions? And how was my choice any of his business? The Bish suggested mercy rather than justice and asking what Jesus would have me do. Ya' know. I'm human. Sometimes, you need a breath or two before you get to the mercy and proper behavior.

For a couple of days, I wrangled with what to do, how to respond if at all, and processing where things went wrong. Where things went wrong is in my head, in my heart, and in my beliefs. I probably won't get into all of that, but I had a few thoughts and a big AHA that have helped me to make what I think is a major step forward. I often say, other people's opinions of me are none of my business. And I believe it most of the time. It's easy to accept when it's not a friend, not a family member, or someone who is plain crazy or doesn't know what they are talking about. But what about when it is someone close to you? Yeah, what about that? This is a pretty close person.

That saying, collided with a thought an online mentor shared with me some time ago. I share the thought below.

"There are three kinds of business -- my business, your business, and God's business.
The only one you have any "business" being in is your own and when you muddle around in the other two you only make yourself miserable."

Epiphany:

3 a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b : a revealing scene or moment.

I had an epiphany. First off, I have some higher thinking online friends who often say things like "for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Shakespeare. And I am finding it to be true. I'm not talking about moral standards, commandments, laws, etc. I am talking about the millions of thoughts and experiences we have that we filter through our beliefs and brand, "good, bad."

Well, this was a "bad" experience. How can someone screaming and yelling and accusing you of things over the phone be "good?" Well, I'm seeing it as good today. Because there are three kinds of business. However any person acts toward me, in thought, word, deed, or action of any kind....that is their business. Anything I do in thought, word, action, or deed...my business. How God judges the matter (not me or anyone else)...God's business.

A) I can let go of judging the whole matter and leave that to God. (HIS BUSINESS)

B) It matters not what I do or have done that another person likes or does not like. Again, MY BUSINESS. I don't have to change for anyone or worry whether I do or don't. If I believe I am doing the right thing and I believe God supports me, it matters not what anyone else thinks or does. (And if I am not acting right morally and refuse to recognize that, again God's business, with just a bit of mine thrown in)

C) It matters not how any person treats me. I may not like it, but I do not have to accept it, and I can respond calmly, because their actions are NONE OF MY BUSINESS. "YOUR BUSINESS." I can walk away, hang up the phone, end the relationship, or continue on my terms.

I think C, gave me the greatest realization of freedom. If I can remember simply that this person is in their business and it does not involve me at all. I can just reply, I am sorry you feel that way. Because, chances are, I am. This other person is functioning through the filter of their own beliefs which have nothing to do with me. If I don't want to be treated ugly, I can simply end the conversation.

WOW! I feel free from explaining anything I have done. I feel unburdened of another's opinion of me. I feel no need to pick up the phone or write a letter or explain. And if or when the time comes that this person wants to contact me again, I will attempt to fill my heart with divine love, see this person for who they REALLY are, a child of God, and do the best I can as kindly as I can. And THAT feels a whole lot better.